


Things that Matter

by runsoftbin



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:41:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19793929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runsoftbin/pseuds/runsoftbin
Summary: So Hanbin was like, in a universe where you get your heart broken, why don't you date me instead, you know, as a rebound or whatever until the pain heals a little.So there's that. But maybe that wasn't a wise decision.."Why are you so obsessed with these kinds of things?" Jiwon asked."Because you count things that matter, Ji."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK so here is the thing, yall.
> 
> I use fics as a shelter for my broken heart. And every time I come here to find some, I am always saddened by the small amount and the slow movement of this tag.  
> So here I am, in the hope for sheltering myself with Alternate Universes.  
> This is unbetaed, unedited, so you know what to deal with.  
> Maybe some of you who are like me, who read fics as a short reliever, well you can read this for free.
> 
> Also keep in mind i am lazy and i procrastinate a lot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Hanbin was like, in a universe where you get your heart broken, why don't you date me instead, you know, as a rebound or whatever until the pain heals a little.
> 
> So there's that. But maybe that wasn't a wise decision.
> 
> .
> 
> "Why are you so obsessed with these kinds of things?" Jiwon asked.
> 
> "Because you count things that matter, Ji."

The amount of bullshit Hanbin has to deal with that day worth more than what he can tolerate, really. He woke up at 5 o’clock when it was still dark outside and needed to head to a 6.15 am practice, which of course, he ran late for. His captain was being all too pissy lately, calling him ‘kid’ way more time than he should, as the sign that he was annoyed. The other team members had it rough too, with the captain (a literal athlete who played in national game) being animal on the ice ring like some kind of wounded polar bear.

He had butted Hanbin on the head too (with both their helmet on, thankfully) when all Hanbin did was being a nice player who doesn’t score goals, but at least can control puck on his stick better than the other juniors.

It’s been a month, he overheard Namjoon and Jooheon talked in the bathroom, that Kim Jiwon had behaved like an emo teenager who was in one of their ‘phase’. Apparently, the shift of behavior happened after a wild party that Jackson randomly threw (of course, it needs to be him) and Hanbin didn’t even know what happened because he’s a homebody who never comes to that kind of party.

Jooheon had said that it was because of a girl, and finally everything clicked.

Hanbin always thought that even though Jiwon is a carefree soul, he would fall for a girl (or boy, whatever) thoroughly, like, all at once. So apparently, the girl was Kim Jisoo (who is a literal goddess, if Hanbin may say), the cheerleader who, of course, has a whole list of boys (and girls) seeking her attention. Jiwon being one of them, and he had also been in the luckier few because they had graduated from the same high school. According to the locker room rumor, they have been on dates before too, and some people actually thought that they had a thing going on. But in that wild party things just turned upside down as people really saw with their eyes Kim Jisoo kissed a senior on the dance floor.

Suck to be Jiwon, really. 

Back to the bullshits he had to deal with, so the other team members (especially juniors) had him sacrificed to talk to an annoyed-looking Kim Jiwon in the locker room, when the rest of the team pretended they haven’t done showering. It’s about a simple get-together dinner that they have planned two months prior, to welcome the juniors as the newest addition to the college’s ice hockey club. Hanbin had been the sacrificial lamb because the other members (even the seniors like Namjoon and Jooheon who are literally Jiwon’s best friend) refused to deal with moody and tired broken-hearted college athlete. They claimed that Jiwon had a soft spot for Hanbin, since he has that ‘little brother’ attraction in him that can easily win someone with no younger sibling like Jiwon.

If only everything make sense. But Hanbin still has to do it anyway.

“…Yo.”

And Hanbin wished he had used another greeting because Jiwon didn’t even acknowledge his presence. The other man had his head buried in his locker, throwing everything there without any care in the world—jawline slack and defined, hair still dripping water to wet his bare torso, wearing nothing but a black boxer short and additional small towel on his left shoulder.

Thank God Jiwon’s locker door are separating them right now. Even without him looking, Hanbin still felt intimidated.

“…Sunbae, so… about the get-together dinner, you know… it’s tonight at eight. You know… the one that we have planned two months ago.”

Hanbin who was leaning on the metal lockers was a little startled when Jiwon slammed his locker’s door shut, locking them in such a careless manner before turning his head towards Hanbin. His wild purple hair had grown past his eyes that he needed to tilt his head a little to look at the younger boy.

“…but if you’re busy of course there is no obligation to come… haha… it’s just a lousy dinner… haha… okay then… I guess…”

Hanbin had one foot already stretched out in preparation to run out of the locker room, almost claiming the mission as a failure, when Jiwon made a thinking face as if he was trying to remember something.

“Oh, that… I’ll come. There will be alcohol, right?”

Well, Hanbin didn’t know per se, but he nodded anyway. “I guess? Probably? But I guess you need to pay for yourself for that, though.”

Jiwon was wearing his oversized white t-shirt that looked ugly, if Hanbin can be honest, but this was Jiwon, so ugly things looked cool anyway with the way he carried himself.

“Hahaha… Okay, I will pay for my alcohol. I’ll pay for yours too if you want.”

Jiwon was probably trying to say _I’m not broke like you_ but Hanbin didn’t get that message, not after he blurted out, “No thanks, I don’t drink, Sunbae.”

“Oh really?”

“I can only drink fruit beer, but don’t tell people.”

When Jiwon was done wearing a red flannel over his white shirt and combing messy hair with his fingers, Hanbin could see him smiling—his eyes narrowed into a thin line and his bunny teeth made him look younger, somehow.

“You’re cute.” He said, draping his black backpack on one shoulder then patting Hanbin’s head with one hand. Messing his semi-wet black hair a little more than it already is. “See you tonight, kid.”

And then he’s gone. Probably to his morning class—heard him complain about World War II, even though Hanbin still can’t figure out why would an international relation student care so much about world history.

Well, mission accomplished, better than he thought it would. Got called cute instead of getting cursed, Hanbin figured he liked that idea.

.

.

.

So, get-together dinner was a bad idea because of a few things that they overlooked: first of all, they have a broken-hearted captain who was all pissy and sensitive, so small things could already send him over the edge. This captain didn’t even tell anybody what’s his problem and why was he being a literal asshat just about to everybody.

Second of all, this captain has the ability to literally inhale alcohol. In his good day he can chug a bottle without stopping for breath, so just imagine his bad days when alcohol was literally what his system needed to keep functioning.

One hour into the dinner (in a cheap samgyupsal restaurant located near their campus), Jiwon had Jooheon’s neck in his hand because he keeps on bringing out the topic about girls and Jisoo—and Hanbin already thought that maybe Jooheon had some sort of a death wish. The thing that sent Jiwon’s fingers on Jooheon’s adam’s apple was something about _there are so many girls in the world, get over Jisoo and find another one_ and _or just get with a man… Hanbin right there is cute enough._

Hanbin doesn’t even know why Jooheon brought him in his drunken talk, and why his name had cut the last string that kept Jiwon in control of his emotion. The other seniors separated them before anything happened though, which was disappointing. Hanbin can use some fight to satisfy his masochistic need for chaos. Jooheon had laughed at that small fight. Jiwon didn’t.

A few bottles of soju later, the seniors had decided to call it a night. They were all in various stages of drunkenness, and some of them were a little too disgusting so Hanbin just stood near the entrance of the restaurant and see them go home one by one. Namjoon had Jooheon’s hand draped on his shoulder, and Hanbin thought the drunk boy was funny being all giggly and chatty.

“Can you take Jiwon to his apartment? Or just yeet him into a river, whatever. I cannot take care of two drunk dumbasses, Hanbin, help a gentleman here.”

“I must have looked nicer than I actually am.” Hanbin said, as attempted sarcasm, but not like Namjoon cared.

So the bullshit wasn’t over yet, so Hanbin then just nodded reluctantly even though Namjoon had made his way out of the now empty restaurant.

“I guess you’re stuck with me.” Hanbin said, scrunching his nose when Jiwon lets out a disgusting hiccup. “Or I am stuck with you, whatever.” He smells like alcohol and it can already make Hanbin’s head hurts. The older boy had his head laid on top of his folded hands on the table. He lets out whines from time to time, probably in attempt to say words but failed.

Regretting his choices, Hanbin just sat on the chair beside the drunk boy. Actually feeling bad that Jiwon looked so miserable because of a girl. One sided love sucked big time, Hanbin had it once with a girl from his junior high school. It was when he’s a kid, didn’t even know what love was. Probably it sucked more in their twenties, though, where romance seemed like the only thing that matter for people his age.

“I probably need to take you to my dorm, but you need to be quiet.”

Jiwon lets out another whine and Hanbin wiped his own face with his palms, frustrated. “That’s literally the opposite of being quiet.”

The clock shows 12:00 and if he come home now Hanbin could have at least five hours of sleep before his class at 7. If Jiwon chose to cooperate he could even get more than five hours.

“Let me help you up.” And boy, is Jiwon heavy. He’s made of muscle and bones and muscle again, he’s even taller than Hanbin, making it difficult to actually help him walk without Jiwon helping himself.

“Sunbae,” Hanbin slapped Jiwon’s cheek lightly, just to wake him up a little because his dead weight was threatening to bring the two of them on the floor. Damn, his skin was softer than Hanbin initially thought. Wonder if he’s using girls’ skin care? Or he was just blessed with good genes? “Oh God I cannot do this.”

“Hanbini…???”

The older boy said, probably still in hazy mind as they were walking on the sidewalk very slowly. The nickname was new, Hanbin noticed. He liked it, though. Sounded like he’s cuter in person if he had that nickname.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“…ya’ smell nice.”

“Well… you don’t.”

And with that, Jiwon was trying to nuzzle his face on Hanbin’s neck and being sensitive to touches, it literally gave Hanbin goosebumps. If he wasn’t a good person, he would have dropped the older boy and just proceed to drag him by his feet. Jiwon was _smelling_ him and damn, what the hell?

“…Hanbini… I’m hurt…” he said against Hanbin’s neck. They arrived in a bus stop and Hanbin sat Jiwon down beside him while making sure that they both won’t fall. A few people were looking at them, probably because Jiwon was saying he’s hurting repeatedly, with a voice that sounded more like a cry than whine. Hanbin just shoot people awkward smiles when Jiwon grabs his hand and squeezed it, continually nuzzling and inhaling his scent like a wounded dog.

“Hanbini…?”

“Ssshhh… we are in public.” Hanbin said, and Jiwon giggled a little at that.

“Hanbini…,” he whispers now and Hanbin found it a little bit funny, “I am hurt…,” he said, moving their intertwined hands to his own chest, pressing them there a little. “…right here.”

But then it stopped being funny. He probably really was hurting, Hanbin thought, he just didn’t say anything to anyone when he was sober. Maybe he really loved this Jisoo girl, and maybe this girl really did break his heart. Just because he never said anything and just because his friends called him _emo teenager_ doesn’t make it less serious and his broken heart less painful. Sometimes Hanbin wished the boys his age wasn’t too emotionally constipated to acknowledge other boys’ pain, so they didn’t really have to hide it and endure it all alone, pretending to be strong and okay—sometimes while snapping at every living being that came his way.

Before Hanbin could even find right words to say, his bus came and new struggle appeared: to assist Jiwon into it. Good thing that at midnight the bus was not crowded, so he could easily weasel his way to help Jiwon sat near the window and him sitting beside the drunk boy. Jiwon still hasn’t let go of his hand, finding his way again to nuzzle against Hanbin’s neck as if it was his favorite place.

Good thing that Jiwon seemed to get sleepier as minutes passed, so he was spared from all the whining and drunk talking. Hanbin didn’t miss the wetness on his neck, though, and occasional sniffs and hiccups from the boy who was slumped against him.

There was this part of him that hoped Jiwon to be spared from this kind of pain. But that’s just empty wishes that wouldn’t come true even if he tried. So he left the thought on the back of his head.

.

.

.

Jiwon had vomited on the sidewalk outside Hanbin’s dorm and he had groaned like a wounded animal. Hanbin couldn’t lie that it was disgusting, so he needed to turn his head away while massaging Jiwon’s nape, hoping it could soothe him a little.

After vomiting, Jiwon seemed to gain his strength and consciousness a little more, but that wasn’t a good thing, really. He had yelled at everyone he met in the hallway, shouting drunken friendly greetings while swaying so badly, giving Hanbin’s knees a heavier task to do. Hanbin just hoped that the guard didn’t hear the chaos or he would get in trouble.

“Shush, good Lord, any God out there, help me.”

Jiwon then made a shushing motion himself, putting his index finger on his lips. “Hanbini needs to be quiet…” he said, and then he giggled. That was cute, not gonna lie, but what for? Hanbin would still get in trouble, especially when a few people had opened their doors and yelled at them to keep it down. The seniors really owed him big time. Especially this blob of muscle in his hold.

Hanbin really wanted to cry when he couldn’t find his key, that he needed to put Jiwon on the floor to be able to rummage through his bag more thoroughly. The journey from his door to the bed took more energy than he thought because Jiwon apparently decided to just fall asleep, not helping him at all to carry himself just a few more meters.

When Hanbin succeeded bringing Jiwon to sit on his bed, a tear actually managed to slip from his eye. A happy tear. Hanbin just stand near the bed and while he threw his bag away, the drunk Jiwon had latched onto his body, hugging his waist like he’s some sort of toddler and Hanbin was his mother. He nuzzles on Hanbin’s stomach, locking his arms on the small of Hanbin’s back so he’s now thoroughly trapped.

“Can you let me go? I am just gonna get you some water,” Hanbin said, still trying to reason with a drunk person when he was fully understand that it was useless.

“…don’t leave me… ‘m hurt, yenno…”

Hanbin lets out a sarcastic chuckle. Unbelievable. His captain used _aegyo_ , he would make sure to tell him when he’s sober how disgusting he was being.

“I know Cap… But lemme hydrate you a bit, ‘kay?”

“…hydrate me…? That’s nice… You’re a nice boy, Binni…”

Well now another nickname. Not even any of his girlfriend (and boyfriend) give him that much nickname in a day. The drunk koala finally let him go a little, while still sitting with shoulders hunched on Hanbin’s bed. He was playing with the hem of his shirt when Hanbin placed a cup against his lips, happily drinking from it when he realized how the liquid soothed his burning throat.

Hanbin took the cup away when he’s finished, then proceeded to sit beside Jiwon on the bed. He probably needed to take Jiwon’s flannel off because it smelled like dried soju and he didn’t want his bed to get contaminated. Washing bed sheet was something he despised. 

“I’ll take your shirt off now, help me a little, ‘kay?”

Jiwon just looked at him with droopy eyes and dopey smile, nodding his head cutely like a little toddler. He lifted his hand at Hanbin, maybe thinking that’s how he helped.

“No, no, that’s not how you help. Just let me…,” Hanbin slowly peeled his red flannel off, needed extra work because Jiwon didn’t even do anything to let his arms off the sleeve.

“Okay stop looking at me like that,” Hanbin said when Jiwon followed his face mindlessly with his own, looking observantly at Hanbin’s eyes as if he’s figuring something out. When Hanbin was leaning towards Jiwon to help getting him out of his shirt, that’s when he felt wet lips on his own, just in a little peck.

“Aw sweet, you just kissed me. Now shush. I won’t tell anyone.”

Hanbin just continued helping the older boy with his shirt and when he’s finally done and threw the said shirt away, another peck landed on his lips and _that’s it,_ he’s gonna draw some line.

“DUDE!” he said, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “You literally just threw up!”

The drunk boy just gave him a dopey smile, giggling a little while scrunching his nose. Hanbin was late when Jiwon took his hands and hold them, yanking his skinny form a little towards the older boy before their lips meet again, this time for a deeper and longer kiss. Hanbin fought the other to just let his hand go, but the grip was tight.

Hanbin’s eyes were still wide open when Jiwon giggled and pulled away from the kiss, only to give him another small peck. The older boy then lets out a content sigh and then just let his body fell on Hanbin, resting his head on Hanbin’s shoulder.

“…ya’ smell so good, Binni… wan’ sleep with Binni…”

Oh hell no, this is where Hanbin needs to draw the line.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well.
> 
> That didn’t go well.
> 
> Or maybe, like Jiwon said, Hanbin just really need to know his line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what am I doing... It's 3 am here...
> 
> Anyway, follow me on twitter and talk hanbin to me @runsoftbin  
> Or ask me questions in my cc @runsoftbin

It was sort of comedic how Hanbin woke up on the floor of his own room, after sleeping with only one pillow to cushion his head. To be completely honest, he didn’t know why he was willing to go extra miles in helping Jiwon—like, okay, Hanbin was a nice guy, but willing to sleep on the floor when a drunk senior invades your single bed? Doesn’t really seem like something he’d do out of a golden heart.

Jiwon woke up with a heavy groan, cradling his head like he’s wounded. It was Saturday morning and it was such an angelic thing for Hanbin to just wake up when he usually sleeps until 2 pm. Hanbin then sits on his chair, putting the pillow on his desk and dropping his head just on top of it, trying to get some more sleep even though his back was killing him.

“Hanbin?”

Well, the man who invaded his bed was finally sober enough to recognize him, so that’s a good start. When Hanbin turned his head to look at the said man, he was trying to sit while still holding his aching head. Well, with the amount of alcohol that he chugged the night before, Hanbin can imagine how bad the headache was. Or how dry his mouth was. Or just how horrible he was feeling at the moment.

Hanbin was curious of the first person on earth who was sad one day and then drunk alcohol, only to feel worse the morning after, _and_ decided that it was a good idea? And why the hell were people be behaving like alcohol can help anything when it smells like hospital’s waste bin?

“You already know my name so probably in fifteen minutes I can kick you out.” Hanbin said, speech slurring when his cheek was squished by the pillow under him.

“Ow shit… I went shitfaced last night, didn’t I?”

“That’s the only explanation why you’re here.” Hanbin said, didn’t even bother to lift his head. When Jiwon groaned again cradling his head, that’s when Hanbin thought he must really need help. So he opened one of his desk’s drawer to find some Advil, and being the good citizen he was, he also offered him a mug of water. The older boy muttered a thanks before swallowing the pill and then drink the entire content of the mug. So he can already swallow and Hanbin figured that he’s all okay now.

“Did I do anything stupid last night?”

Hanbin just shrugged, didn’t really know the range of stupid that his senior meant.

“Well… you tried to fight Jooheon… had your hand on his throat and all.”

Jiwon hissed uncomfortably. “Damn… Do I need to apologize?”

“Not really. He was equally as drunk as you were and was also being a little bit of a dickhead so he kinda deserve it.”

Hanbin put his elbow on the desk to prop his head and sits sideways on the chair facing Jiwon (who was still sitting on the bed with empty mug in his hand). Jiwon’s hair was a mess, and he kinda still smelled like dried alcohol.

“Anything else?”

“You vomited twice on the side road, but only _I_ saw that.”

Jiwon winced again—a face that said something between _sorry you have to go through that_ and _damn suck to be you._

“Oh, and, you also kissed me. Like three times, on the lips.”

“Oh my god…,” Jiwon massaged his temple, “…are you kidding?”

“Not at all.” Hanbin answered. Firmly. The other boy groaned again.

“Did you punch me for it?”

“Hahaha, no. Was kinda nice, actually.” Hanbin said, crossing his one leg on top of the other, “…but you literally just threw up so it was a little bit disgusting.”

The horror on Jiwon’s face actually almost seemed comical to Hanbin, but he didn’t really give any reaction to it. Besides, he genuinely looked embarrassed and probably even disgusted, and maybe Jiwon was one of those people who didn’t really like the idea of a man kissing another man. Well, South Korea wasn’t really an open-minded country, so Hanbin could just let it slide.

“I am so sorry, Hanbin… I must have troubled you a lot.” Jiwon said then. That sounded sincere so Hanbin will take it.

“No worries, really. Basically Namjoon Sunbae forced me to do this and I am too much of a good person to just let you sleep on the street.” Hanbin smiled, really was attempting that as a joke but Jiwon’s expression was so sullen as if he was really regretting his life’s choices.

“Thank you, Hanbin… I owe you one, really.” He said, attempting to get out of the bed by firstly sitting on the edge of it, and he winced when his tired legs reached the cold floor.

“You’re welcome.” Hanbin said, as light as possible.

“…and about the kiss…,”

“Oh, no, no, no… I won’t tell anybody, really. I swear! I mean… good thing that you don’t remember any of it, right? Hahaha… That would also be awkward on my part… But I didn’t do anything, really! Didn’t try to take advantage, if that’s what you’re worried about… Haha…”

Hanbin didn’t even know why he’s blabbering, saying things that probably Jiwon wasn’t really curious about. He’s probably just worried that Jiwon had heard about how he went out with both girls and boys, and he’s honestly worried that Jiwon would feel disgusted, or worse, resentful and thought that Hanbin was trying to take advantage of the situation. He felt the need to explain himself, somehow, even though Jiwon didn’t really seem curious.

But then the older boy just laughed a little, seemed like he found Hanbin’s blabber to be funny.

“Dude, no…,” he chuckled again, finding it funnier than what Hanbin thought, “…not all that.”

“Oh… Haha… I thought…,”

“Was I at least a good kisser, though?”

There was a playful tone in Jiwon’s voice and Hanbin needed a few second to actually comprehend that he was trying to lighten the mood—and by no means he was not trying to judge or accuse Hanbin for anything. Well sometimes Hanbin just had a bad voice inside his head—a result of multiple cases of bullying he had gone through when he’s growing up. Sometimes it told him that he’s in trouble, or people hate him, leading to him having a messed up sense of self-worth. But that’s nothing Hanbin cannot handle, really. He’s now way past that phase.

Hanbin then smiles too, “Well… you have room for improvement, but with a lot of practice you’ll be there someday.” he said then.

Jiwon then lets out another series of laughter and Hanbin couldn’t believe that anybody would find his way of speaking to be funny. Sometimes he used humor as defense mechanism and some other time he answered questions with sarcasm and inappropriate jokes. Well, Jiwon didn’t seem to mind too much about it.

“Anyway…,” Jiwon said then, after sobering himself up a little more and combing his hair to the back with his fingers, “…can I use your bathroom? I need to wash my face, I feel like shit.”

“Well, sure...” Hanbin pointed to the small bathroom in one corner of his room, “…feel free to use any products in there. Also, I have spare toothbrush somewhere on the shelves, just use it.”

Jiwon then stood up, swaying a little. Maybe the alcohol in his system still controlled his movement a little.

When Jiwon closed the bathroom door, Hanbin threw himself on his single bed, deciding that he needed a few more hours of sleep after doing numbers of good deeds in just one night. He was laying on his stomach when he heard the bathroom door being opened again, and then Jiwon’s voice calling his name.

“Hanbin, by the way…,” he seemed hesitant for a moment, “…did I mention any names when I was drunk?”

Hanbin flipped his body so he can face Jiwon. He then lifted his arms and put them on the back of his head as makeshift pillow.

“…well, yeah.”

“…shit.”

“In fact, that was why you almost fight with Jooheon.”

“Well, _shit_ , indeed.”

Jiwon looked… angry? Not really. Disappointed? Maybe. He just looked uncomfortable knowing the fact that he indeed called one name when he was drunk and he probably had predicted that the name would somehow came out of his lips.

“…she’s got you messed up, huh, Sunbae?” Hanbin said, didn’t even think if Jiwon would be offended. He just blurted out things in his mind.

“Love ain’t shit, apparently.” Jiwon said, shrugging. Oh, so it _was_ love. Maybe it still is.

“Give it some time. People said time heals, but I don’t know if it’s true. But it could be. Who knows?” Hanbin said. And that was an attempt to help and support Jiwon, and that’s seriously the most he could do as a messed up person himself.

Jiwon shrugged again. His eyes really did look sad.

“Yeah… who knows.” he said. There was silence for a few seconds before Jiwon clicked his tongue and enter the bathroom once again.

Well… maybe love really ain’t shit.

.

.

.

If one month ago anyone told Hanbin that he would hang out in Kim Jiwon’s room, Hanbin would laugh on their faces. Seriously.

In the span of one month—after that drunken incident that apparently being considered as a debt by Jiwon—both of them had hang out together more times than Hanbin ever thought they would. Jiwon really be doting on him more times at practice and he began to pass the puck more to Hanbin than everyone else.

That, of course, raised concerns among team members. For a few reasons, apparently. First of all, of course because Hanbin was a bisexual, that means he had a fifty percent chance to like Jiwon romantically—and that kind of relationship between team members was something that they call a _destructor._ Members are not allowed to be involved romantically because it will ruin the team’s dynamic.

Second of all, Jiwon had been less pissy, which leads to the assumption of _him_ liking Hanbin instead. The concern was still the same, though, the team’s dynamic. Even though they have also been asking whether Jiwon was bisexual or not. Oh, also whether he had moved on from Jisoo or not.

Hanbin had hang out with Jiwon more, and he really found Jiwon’s company to be easy and comfortable. Not to the extent that he would engage with him in romantic business, but as partner to just laze around while playing online games. Or to eat in cheap restaurant when he’s broke at the end of the month. He had also found that Jiwon was a laid back person who didn’t really complain much. He’d rather go with Hanbin’s suggestion for things, simply because thinking was such a hassle for him. Good thing that Hanbin was a planner, and he liked it when people go with his suggestion.

“That’s a lot of medals right there,” Hanbin said when he opened a drawer in Jiwon’s room, apparently where he’s been storing his medals from all the competition he had entered. The older boy had played more sport than Hanbin thought, and he’s just really had the gift for them too. Most of the medals are from hockey, of course, but when he was a kid he had won some karate too.

“Yeah… My mom likes to collect them. Only a few of them are real match, though. Some only from small competition among schools or whatever.”

“They are still medals, though. That’s hard work. How many are they?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really count. Some of them even given just because I passed the karate belt exam.”

Hanbin began to look at them one by one, and really, some of them are really from prestigious competition. No wonder Jiwon was competing in national’s team when he’s that talented since he was a kid.

Jiwon was busy clicking his mouse with his eyes focusing fully to the monitor, he had decided to play some games just because sleep wasn’t an option. They have practice in two hours and they have decided to go back to Jiwon’s house simply because he offered free lunch.

“Twelve regular medals… eight bronze… ten silver… and six gold. That’s a lot.” Hanbin said, storing the medals back to the drawer.

“Seven gold. I have one more framed in my mother’s room.”

“Thought you never count?”

“Only the gold ones.”

Hanbin smiles a little, “…well, because people only count things that matter.”

“…that’s quite philosophical, coming from an accounting major.” Jiwon said, taking off the headphone that hangs on his neck.

“Well, we count things that matter. Money is one of them, you know.”

“Well, okay, if that’s what you say.”

Hanbin then flopped himself to Jiwon’s bed that was thankfully bigger than his own. Jiwon’s house is nice, Hanbin thought, his mom was nicer. There were Jiwon’s pictures here and there, most of them are documenting his achievement since he was little. Jiwon was really a competitive person, Hanbin could see. And it didn’t only show in the ice rink, in real life as well Hanbin began to take notice little by little. How Jiwon didn’t like losing an argument, how he _hated_ losing bets, how he could even get angry when he’s being cheated on games.

That explained a lot of Jiwon’s behavior that Hanbin had initially thought.

“Kid, don’t sleep. We’re heading to practice in an hour.”

Hanbin just rolled his body to face the wall, paying no attention to what Jiwon said in sole purpose to make the latter annoyed.

“Let a man have his rest. Living takes a toll on my body.”

Hanbin was halfway to a dreamland when he can hear Jiwon’s phone rang almost too loudly—it was near him on the bed. But not like usual, Jiwon almost jumped on the bed when he saw the caller ID. It confused Hanbin a little.

“Hello? Yeah? Jisoo-ya…,”

_Oh,_ that explained everything. Hanbin just rolled his eyes to Jiwon that was followed by a nudge on his waist with Jiwon’s foot.

“Oh, I see… Where are you now?”

Nice, Hanbin had a bad feeling already. Jiwon really was so whipped that Hanbin can see one month of attempt to move on been crushed to shreds just with a phone call.

How hopeless was Jiwon, Hanbin didn’t even want to think about it.

“Right, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Hanbin then shot Jiwon a disapproving look, only to be ignored by the older boy. Jiwon instead hurriedly opened his closet to pick some clothes, and _ew_ he changed clothes only to meet Jisoo at this hour? Whipped culture so strong Hanbin didn’t want to even know him anymore.

And a capitalized _EW_ was he just sprayed on perfume, which Jiwon almost never did.

“Where are you going?” Hanbin asked, propping himself on his elbows.

“Jisoo called.”

“I was _here_ , Einstein. I heard that. _Where_ are you going?”

Jiwon was making weird faces on the mirror now and Hanbin was a little bit disgusted by this kind of behavior.

“She’s asking me for a favor. She needs to catch a flight and I’ll drive her to Incheon.”

Well, that’s honestly so hard for Hanbin to comprehend.

“Sunbae… not that I want to meddle with your business, but based on our conversations, you’re now supposed to be in _moving-on_ phase. And you know what people shouldn’t do in such a phase?” Jiwon just continued to pace around his room, of course not really listening, “ _THIS._ This is exactly the opposite of what people do in the _moving-on_ phase!”

Hanbin sat on the bed now, trying to reason with Jiwon because he knew where this will end. He seriously couldn’t just let one month without break down—post the drunk event—and let just one phone call ruin everything.

“Okay, shhhh… I need to go. I just know I need to go.” Jiwon said. And _God have mercy,_ he’s gelling his hair. And it’s 5pm on Sunday.

“We have practice in one hour! You can’t possibly make it if you’re going to Incheon now.” Hanbin, the rational guy, still tried to reason. But it fell on deaf ears. Love is dangerous.

“Tell Namjoon I’ll be late,” he said. Now he’s shoving everything he owns into his nicer backpack—not the one he used to campus. Disappointing, really, when Hanbin had been there for a month and being proud of his moving-on progress.

Now they would need to start from zero all over again, Hanbin just knew.

“Sunbae…”

“What?”

Jiwon picked his black bomber jacket—that Hanbin needed to admit, made him look exceptionally good.

“I really think you shouldn’t go.”

“I think I should.”

Hanbin exaggerated a sigh. He couldn’t simply let hours and hours of him listening to how in love Jiwon was with Jisoo, and how he hated it when Jisoo just went out with another guy, went down the drain just in a few minutes. That’s wasting his time and he could have been sleeping all those hours.

“How are you gonna move on if you keep being like this?”

Jiwon was picking shoes from his collections, and that means it was really serious. Those sneakers collection almost like babies to Jiwon and for him to wear them just to the airport really means Jisoo still etched as deep as before in his whipped brain.

“Sunbae…”

Okay Jiwon chose a really gorgeous pair of black and white Nike that Hanbin never even seen before—and they are so shiny as if they came straight from the store. 

Without he even thinking, Hanbin had jumped down the bed and the next thing he knew, he was gripping Jiwon’s wrist, holding him from opening his room’s door.

“Sunbae!”

“The hell, Hanbin! I need to go!”

“Hey, we talked about this! I really think you shouldn’t go.”

“Let go.”

“Are you stupid? You said you wanted to forget her, now with one phone call you’re just gonna run to her like some sort of a slave like this? Where’s all those pride you talked about?”

“Look, I don’t have time for this, okay? Let go!”

“Damn dude, she really got you fucked up like this, huh?”

And Hanbin could really see a spark on Jiwon’s eyes like something just short-circuited in his brain and immediately set his anger up by a great degree.

“Fuck off.” Jiwon said, his voice went really low, “…don’t meddle with my business, Hanbin. Know your line.”

That did it. Hanbin released Jiwon’s wrist from his grip and in no time he could hear the car’s engine being turned on.

Well.

That didn’t go well.

Or maybe, like Jiwon said, Hanbin just really need to know his line.

.

.

.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, to sum it up, Hanbin's tired getting involved in relationships that are not his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yall!
> 
> I know it's been bad days. lol. me too.  
> This supposed to be updated a few days ago, yenno... just to maintain a good pace for updating things.  
> But shit happened and my head be like... "why dont you break down a little?!"
> 
> OK so this is the next chapter  
> unbetaed unedited yall already know the drill
> 
> anyway, greet me on twitter @runsoftbin or curiouscat @runsoftbin!

First of all, Hanbin really didn’t want to get involved into any romantic relationship that wasn’t his. Second of all, everyone who are ‘in love’, as disgusting as it sound, couldn’t really utilize the whole capacity of their brain because of some sort of hormone that made them unable to process what’s romantic, and what’s plain stupid. 

“This is why I always say, you should have been dating me, not Jaewon.” he said lazily, and the petite girl in front of him rolled her eyes. He really could see himself in her sometimes. The curse of being together shortly after being born.

“And have you ogle another boy while holding my hand on a date? That’s pretty embarrassing for my part.”

“Hayi… I could be eyeing another  _ girl,  _ for God sake… I’m bisexual. Stop telling people that I’m gay, that only minimize my chance to get laid.”

“Let’s be real. Your bisexual preference is like, 80-20 to boys.”

Hanbin shoved a french fries to his mouth, stole it from Hayi’s plate, “I would say solid 60-40. But you’re right about the boys.”

“That’s not the point here!” she said, messing her already messy hair--she had a habit of not washing hair when she’s fighting with her boyfriend. Not that Hanbin cared so much, but that made really little sense sometimes. “I still think that was Jaewon’s fault and he is the one who should apologize to me. He is really manipulative sometimes, that’s why I forbid him to go out with you, you taught him this!”

Hanbin then exaggerated a gasp, faking a hurt expression. “What in the world have I ever done to Jaewon? If anything,  _ he  _ corrupted me! I know something is wrong with that guy, he poured ketchup all over his fries. I mean, that’s psycho behavior only, Hayi.”

“Now you talk to him and ask him to apologize to me! Right now!” 

If Lee Hayi is a female tiger, he would be roaring at Hanbin right now. And being a male tiger, Hanbin would be terrified of her and do as what she said.

“This is why I hate being in the middle of people with romantic problems! They get stupid and then when things went wrong, I’m the one to blame!”

He said, but he reached to his phone anyway, silently texting Jaewon things like  _ ‘your girlfriend is spitting fire AT me, now apologize to her before she eats me alive’. _

The cafeteria was busy in the afternoon, especially on Wednesday where they served chocolate pudding with vanilla fla. Hanbin still thought the fla was a bit suspicious, but people liked them anyway. Including Hayi. 

This is why Hanbin hates being single, because that only meant he was the one his friends will come to, for relationship problems. Because apparently, single people could give unbiased opinion about the situation, given they don’t have attachment and feelings about the problem.

First of all, that was cruel. That’s just manipulating his status to give benefit to other people, who sometimes he really couldn’t give a damn about (like Jaewon). Second of all, those people who fell in love, were fucking stupid. There was no use of him analyzing the situation and be a good person, and actually took his time to give relationship advice… when all they did after that was the exact opposite of what he told them.

He’s so angry.

“I still cannot believe Jaewon did that,” Hayi said, well, now she’s just being dramatic.

“Oh come on… He went to a party without you ONCE, and I can even guarantee he doesn’t even know more than ten people.”

“But still!”

“Now you are exaggerating things,” Hanbin said, receiving a text from Jaewon that said, ‘ _ I already did!’  _ and he texted him again, saying ‘ _ well, she’s still fussing about it, so do it again!’ _

Hanbin sighed again, for the nth time, in about half an hour time he spent with Hayi that afternoon. “Maybe people are right. Relationship sucks.”

“You just say that because you don’t have any.”

“I have seen enough.”

“That’s a lie. You basically only see me and Jaewon’s relationship. That’s ONE, Hanbin.”

“Ugh…,” he dropped his head on the table, forehead making contact with the not-so-clean surface. “...I wish.”

“What, you’re meddling with other people’s relationship too? Wow… I know you’re lonely but this ain’t it.”

Hanbin sometimes hated Hayi, really. If not because their mothers being friends since teenage days and (dear God) promised each other to marry their kids one day… he would really smuggle frogs inside Hayi’s locker. Frequently. 

“You know Jiwon? My team’s Captain?”

Hayi made a disgusted expression, “Ew, you’re still in the team? I skate better than you!”

“...okay, that’s not the point.” Hanbin said, lifting his head and propped it with one hand, “...he is also involving me in his romance problem, and right now suddenly he’s mad at me? Like, how the hell does it make sense?”

“Isn’t he like… Jisoo’s ex?”

“WHAT!” Hanbin said, slapping the table with his two hands, “...where did you get that information?”

“...well… They were always together for some times, but then suddenly not anymore. And I saw Jisoo kissed Mino in Jackson’s party. I heard they are together now.”

Hanbin has a lot of questions but he’s clearly in awe. Since when did Hayi knows this much about people. Maybe the perks of being a communication major? Like… they always communicate. There were always new news every day, and they were good at socializing too.

That’s beside the point, though.

“You came to Jackson’s party?!” that was the question he actually lets out.

“Everyone was there, except nerd like you.”

“I am not a nerd. Ditching the party was a conscious decision.”

“...well. Whatever makes you sleep at night, I guess…” Hayi finished his coffee with a loud sound, “...why he mad at you, though?”

“I questioned his decision to drive that girl to the airport, like… a week ago. Then he got mad at me, like? I don’t deserve this shit? And he also gets very distant at me in practice, like, never say anything. Doesn’t even look at me. Usually he would yell on top of his lungs for mistakes, but now… none.”

Hayi then made a face as if she’s thinking, which, Hanbin really hoped so. It’s been almost a week and it’s like Jiwon had been avoiding him. Didn’t even spare him a glance. That’s weird because of multiple reasons. First of all, WHY? Second of all, he really didn’t deserve this when all he was trying to do was being nice.

“What did you do, actually?”

“Just unbiased thing… told him he should have moved on and forget someone who is already in a relationship.”

Hayi then tapped her chin with her fingers, the thing she liked to do when she’s thinking.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have done that.” Hayi said, “…or… he feels guilty but he cannot face you because he knows now that you were right.”

Hanbin stops eating from Hayi’s plate for a moment, actually thinking about the possibilities that the girl had thrown at him.

“The second one doesn’t seem so bad, though.”

Hayi nodded lazily, “Well, just hope that it’s true. If it is then it’s not your fault.”

The girl had a point. Maybe something had happened that made Jiwon realized that what Hanbin said was right, and he was just too ashamed or felt too guilty to face Hanbin again. Especially after that thing he said to Hanbin—damn that stung.

“I have class in fifteen minutes,” Hayi said, looking at her watch then proceeded to gather her things into her bag.

“I’ll be going home, then.” Hanbin said, bottoming up his cola and half smashing the empty can to the table.

But then Hayi’s movement halted as if she just remembered something important, “But Binna…,” Okay Hanbin wanted to protest about the use of his child name, but he didn’t. Only because Hayi looked so serious all of sudden. “…didn’t you… want to quit hockey since like… your second practice?”

That question sounded suspicious. Especially with Hayi trying to narrow her eyes like she’s accusing Hanbin of doing something wrong.

“Yeah… But I survived. Not as bad as I thought.”

But Hayi didn’t buy it—she narrowed her eyes even more. “Are you sure that’s the reason? You hate cold.”

“…your point?”

“Did something happen?” she asked. More like interrogated, “…or  _ someone  _ happened?”

“Shut up, Lee Hayi.”

Hayi then exaggerated a gasp, covering her mouth. “Oh my God, Binna!”

And that, that’s annoying and she’s always like that. She’s purposely exaggerating things just to get on Hanbin’s nerves.

“Oh just go to your class!”

Hanbin hated that mischievous look on Hayi,  _ God,  _ she can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

“Aww… Binna…”

“Go or I’ll tell your mom you did inappropriate things with Jaewon!”

Hayi’s expression changed from smiling slyly to snicker disgustedly. “No fun!” and she landed a slap on Hanbin’s head before she ran out of the cafeteria while laughing devilishly.

And Hanbin then pushed away those thoughts to the back of his mind.

.

.

.

“Yo, kid…”

Hanbin was startled because he expected the room to be empty. It was the club room that they called Headquarter, located in the far back of the faculty building. It’s where they keep all their equipment and sometimes it was used for meetings or just a place to hang out. The seniors often used it to sleep between classes, though, but Jiwon was never one of them.

Hanbin was surprised, really, to see Jiwon himself laying on the long sofa at the hours he supposed to be in class. Jiwon’s faculty was quite far from the Headquarter so he didn’t always visit at this hour—even when there was important meeting Jiwon always seemed to be late.

“Oh… Hi Sunbae.”

Hanbin cursed himself. Why would he come to the Headquarter and why would Jiwon be there? He was never there before.

“Why are you here?” Jiwon asked, just lying there with both his hands folded under his head like a makeshift pillow. He’s wearing grey hoodie with ripped jeans—which wasn’t really allowed by the university, but it’s Kim Jiwon, he’s wearing what he wanted.

“I wanted to sleep.” Hanbin said, to the point. He could probably crash on the carpeted floor, in front of the TV where they usually play Nintendo. The room was spacey enough, like a classroom but divided into two. They had decorated the room to be as comfy as possible, added as many facilities as allowed, so they could crash there and skip classes.

Hanbin threw his backpack on the floor, just in front of the TV—and it made the distance between him and Jiwon closer, about two meters now. Long enough for him not to feel too awkward, but too close for him not to feel anything at all.

As he moved to lay on the carpeted floor and closed his eyes, he could hear Jiwon sighing. Hanbin didn’t say anything, though, he just pretended not to notice.

“Aren’t you gonna say anything?”

Hanbin was taken aback by Jiwon’s voice. It was calm and collected but Hanbin knew he was nothing like it at the very moment. Hanbin knew that Jiwon was looking at him as if he was waiting for something, and it felt kinda like an obligation to respond to him.

“What should I say?”

The older boy chuckled, almost sarcastically, and Hanbin chose not to care much, he didn’t even open his eyes. 

“I don’t know? Anything.”

Hanbin opened his eyes and huffed, like he was annoyed. Well, he was annoyed.

“What do you want me to say? Look, there,” Hanbin pointed to the floor just between him and the sofa Jiwon was laying on, “you cannot see it, but that’s the line I drew between us. I know my line now.”

With that, Jiwon let out a laugh that sounded more like mocking him instead of laughing for him.

“Jesus Christ, that’s what this is all about?”

If Hanbin didn’t have high blood pressure before, he clearly have it now. He immediately got up to a sitting position and got ready to defend himself against all the accusation he thought Jiwon would throw at him.

“What do you mean?”

Jiwon also got up and sat on the sofa, facing Hanbin who was now sitting with legs crossed on the floor.

“You were avoiding me because of things I said weeks ago?”

“Well, I just…,” and that was when Jiwon’s words are digested fully by Hanbin’s little head, “...wait. What?”

“You, avoiding me.”

Hanbin made a face that wanted to express,  _ what the hell? _

“No,  _ you  _ were avoiding me. How is it my fault now?”

Jiwon shrugged and his face somehow showed that he was glad--and Hanbin didn’t really know what to feel about it. He felt stupid, though, all this time he thought he was being ignored, while the person who he thought was ignoring him, thought that Hanbin was the one who did the ignoring. Did it even make sense?

“You clearly avoided me during practices! You didn’t talk much to me like you always did. You didn’t even look when I called. Well, that’s avoiding, man.”

Hanbin couldn’t believe what he heard. All these time the entire week he thought he was at fault (he even thought about apologizing, geez…), turned out that it was a misunderstanding?

“In my defense, you always look like you’re going to eat somebody alive whenever one of us makes mistakes.”

“That’s just my game face!”

And then there was silence again. Hanbin was still annoyed, though.

“…you know what, kid…,” Jiwon said then, breaking the silence with a little clap, “…that was uncool of me to treat you like what I did. I knew that, by the way, if that’s what you were implying about.”

Hanbin only shrugged, didn’t really know how to respond appropriately to that without bringing up the topic about that girl Jiwon likes.

He didn’t really want to talk about it.

“…but if that makes you less offended, that afternoon nothing really went right, because—”

Hanbin realized what Jiwon wanted to talk about, and nobody really have spare time to listen about another person’s failed date. Not anymore.

“Ahhhh you know what? It’s okay. You don’t really have to tell me things, you know… Haha… I’m just a club junior. Especially your love life. I really don’t think that I have any say about that, haha…”

That probably sounded very fake, Hanbin must admit. Especially with the fake laugh that only came out when he’s nervous or disappointed. But among many things in the world that Hanbin could tolerate, but this, apparently, not one of them. 

Jiwon didn’t laugh, though, with Hanbin’s fake cheerfulness. He instead looked sullen, just like how he had looked the whole few months after all the shenanigans with his love life. 

Hanbin never really fell in love that way, if that’s the case. But seeing how down Jiwon was, how much this had affected him, really had Hanbin thinking. There were various possibilities, though. Jiwon could really have fallen in love with the girl, that this really did break his heart and right at the moment he was trying to heal. But, thinking about just how competitive Jiwon was, not only in games but also in  _ life,  _ that could also be the reason why he was so invested in all of this. 

But that’s of course only Hanbin’s analysis. That might not be true.

Hanbin also wondered since when did he became so invested in Jiwon’s feelings? Heartbreak was as natural as breathing at this moment in life, everyone who walks on the surface of earth in their early twenties, big chance was they have experienced it at least once. Not a big deal, if you look at it in broad point of view. 

Probably it’s just that he had also invested his time listening to Jiwon’s stories about this. It’s just normal for him to feel this invested when he took part listening and understanding the problem, even acted as far as holding Jiwon back from things he was about to do (although it was a failure). 

“Let’s go out.”

And that was so sudden, so out of nowhere that Hanbin couldn’t help but gape in quite shock. 

“What?!!”

Jiwon then stood up while reaching for his backpack, then walked towards Hanbin and stopped right in front of the younger. Jiwon towers over Hanbin and the younger just looked up at his face with questioning expression.

“What do you mean what? Do you want to still sleep here?”

Hanbin was confused. Did he heard it wrong or Jiwon just meant another thing when he said that? There were some meanings to that words and Hanbin clearly refused to think which one did Jiwon mean.

But he couldn’t be saying that with such a straight face, could he?

“...w-where?”

Hanbin was looking at the floor now, silently reaching for his bag with his hand when Jiwon walked towards the door.

“I don’t know? Wherever you want. I’ll buy you food as an apology.”

First of all, he was asking Hanbin to ‘go out’. Okay that maybe didn’t mean anything. 

But then he offered Hanbin free food.

That’s enough to poke Hanbin’s interest.

“Are you trying to bribe me?!” Hanbin said. Faking anger. 

Jiwon then laughed, his bunny teeth made appearance after a few days. And maybe Hanbin’s life was a little bit lighter now knowing his captain laughed a little bit more than frowned.

“Come on, dude… Sometimes you’re slow like a turtle.” Jiwon said. Hanbin then exaggerated a gasp.

“...never disrespect turtles like that ever again!” Hanbin said. His animal savior soul was screaming at him.

And without even thinking much, Hanbin then slings his backpack to his shoulder and stood up from where he had been sitting. Jiwon had done putting on his Nike shoes and prepared to open the door. Hanbin then half skipping, trying to match the older boy’s pace. 

“Is the chicken restaurant near campus good? Let’s just go there. And, don’t consider this as a bribe… this is some kind of… apology lunch. Or… a ‘thank you’ lunch. People do it all the time, you know. To erase all the bad feelings.”

Well, clearly Hanbin was mistaken. But he’s always a clown if it comes to his own feelings. Maybe what people said are true. Hanbin was the singlest person in college at that moment, and the more they are single, the more reasonable theories about other people’s business they can give. But nobody, not a single one, can ever be reasonable about their own feelings.

Hanbin just shrugged, trying to walk a little faster so he could match Jiwon’s big steps. 

“Well at least I get free food.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...and that will seal the deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really want to update this regularly, but I also get regular breakdown because of things that go wrong in this entire universe. 
> 
> ANYWAY, this is the next chapter. Unedited, unbetaed, everything careless and unprofessional you can name... but i did slip a little hint and details here and there!!! Details are important!!! lol
> 
> Anyway, enjoy yall.  
> May this be a little thing that can cause you smile a little, lol
> 
> if i dont update in five days, please haunt me on twitter @runsoftbin or send me reminder on curiouscat @runsoftbin!!!

“...so it’s like, the skill-set, you know. It’s almost like they have Namjoon’s strength, combined with Jooheon’s agility, with my strategy, you know… Like the puck just sliiiide,” he made a gesture with his hand, “...and without you knowing, it’s a goal. Awesome, really.”

Who was Hanbin kidding, he had stopped listening since God knows when, but there was this thing about Jiwon telling a story that really caught his attention so effortlessly. They had finished their meal awhile ago, but they still sat there talking about things that honestly, Hanbin didn’t really care about. That was Jiwon telling stories about his experience in the National team, explaining the Ukraine team’s performance against South Korea in the match they lose. 

Hanbin still asked questions here and there, to make Jiwon feel appreciated and to kinda show that he really did listen.

One thing that Hanbin realized, usually Jiwon wasn’t really the talkative type, but there were things that really caught his interest and he could talk about it for hours. He had talked about League of Legends to Hanbin like this too, and one other time it was his story about Jisoo. 

“...am I boring you?” he asked then, but Hanbin just snorted. 

“With the story of  _ the amazing  _ winter olympic? Hahaha…,” that was a fake laugh, “...yeah, it was kinda boring.”

Jiwon then laughed too, throwing a ball of used tissue at Hanbin while he’s at it. 

“Forgot that you don’t like hockey as much as I do,” Jiwon said, gulping down his coke to the last drop. 

“...what? Is it that obvious?” 

Hanbin said, lazily eating the remaining side dishes on the table just because he had nothing better to do. 

“Well… yeah? You’re just… kinda there? Like… you’re not  _ bad,  _ you are okay, I guess. But it’s obvious that you don’t like it  _ that  _ much.”

Yeah, that’s true. Hayi had said that too, and Hanbin had thought about that. He still hadn’t reached any conclusion, though.

“As much as you?” Hanbin swallowed a small piece of cucumber, “...literally no one likes hockey as much as you do, Sunbae.”

That was half intended to tease but Jiwon just laughed at it. 

“But really, why do you stay in the team for so long? My leadership isn’t really something easy to follow too.”

Hanbin drank the iced water in his glass, half smashing the plastic cup on the table in a casual manner. 

“...haha… I don't know... I guess it gets bearable as time goes."

"You stay because it's  _ bearable _ ? It isn't tiring for you?"

"Of course. I have to deal with  _ lots  _ of bullshit, you know, especially when Namjoon keeps ordering me around. But yeah, better than nothing at all."

Jiwon made this questioning look, he narrowed his eyes as if they weren't already. 

"You don't have other hobbies? Things you actually like doing?"

"...back then I like to make music, but I realized there's no future."

Hanbin didn't know how it suddenly became a conversation about himself. He didn't really like talking about it. 

"...so you stick with hockey because there's nothing to do…"

"Hahaha… maybe I stick to hockey because you keep sticking on me." Hanbin said casually, drinking his coke again. 

"When did I ever?!!" Jiwon faked a shocked and dejected face. Hanbin just laughed at it. He laughed quite a lot today. 

"...you're still kinda doing it right now."

"Hey, told ya this is a reconciliation effort."

"Reconcile? Did we even 'quarrel'?"

"...well not exactly a quarrel…"

"Jooheon even thought it's a love quarrel, he asked me if you're gay."

Jiwon widened his eyes as if he was very surprised.

"What did you tell him?"

"I said, you could be."

"Did he believe?"

"99 percent, probably. I was pretty convincing."

The atmosphere was still light and friendly. Jiwon looked casual and laid back, laughing here and there even with Hanbin's witty and sometimes sarcastic remarks. 

"Oh, he also asked me whether you like me."

Jiwon laughed again. What's so amusing? 

"What did you tell him?"

Hanbin paused and looked at Jiwon in the eyes. 

"Head over heels." He said calmly. 

Jiwon pretended to choke on his spit and Hanbin just knew if he sat beside Hanbin, he would have smacked his back.

“Dude!!!” he said, then he laughed as if Hanbin was the funniest guy he ever had the chance to met. Jiwon really threw his body to the back of the chair and clapped his hands like a seal. Hanbin just laughed with him. Or at him. Or at himself. 

.

.

.

“BIN!!! BIN look, the downstair rooms are at it again!!! Come play Ouija bo--”

The tall boy who looked super excited (and messy) stopped in his track after he forcefully opened Hanbin’s door. He shocked Jiwon who was half laying on Hanbin’s single bed, back resting on the wall propped with a pillow. 

“...well, you’re not Bin.” he said, looked a little bit disappointed before he threw a suspicious glance towards Jiwon who really was just playing quietly with his phone. 

“I sure am not.” Jiwon said, still didn’t really know why would the boy eyed him like that--like he was someone suspicious who has evil tendencies for Hanbin. Which, he has none.

“Who are you? Why are you here? Where’s Kim Hanbin? What did you do to him?” Jiwon surely didn’t prepare to be bombarded with questions, and he didn’t see why he needed to explain himself to someone he didn’t know, who apparently had quite little to no manner that he just barged into someone else’s room like that.

Jiwon was about to open his mouth to explain Hanbin’s whereabouts when, “Oh my God, are you his boyfriend? Ew… What are you doing here? Don’t have sex in the dormitory, it’s against the rule.” 

That surely had Jiwon taken aback, and the other boy didn’t really give Jiwon time to answer, let alone explain. The boy just stood there with messy hair, one hand on the door’s handle. He was wearing all black, black tee with black trousers that honestly looked like it should have been thrown away. 

“Where’s Bin?” 

The boy really insisted on his every question without giving people a chance to reply, and Jiwon didn’t even have time to open his mouth when Hanbin came out of the bathroom, hair still dripping that it wetted his white shirt. He had a towel on his shoulder and dirty clothes in his hand, so he threw it to the basket near the bathroom door. 

“June? You’re back? I thought you’re eloping with some random girl from the manhwa club. You looked pretty serious with that Japanese girl, rumor said.” Hanbin said casually, like the sight of the other boy was something he was already familiar with. Hanbin just plopped on the bed while roughly drying his hair with his towel, his butt almost touched Jiwon’s toes. 

The messy boy looked offended.

“First of all, Kanna-chan is not from manhwa club,” he said, entering Hanbin’s room without even bother to close the door, then proceeded to sit on Hanbin’s desk chair just beside the bed. He was closer to Jiwon now and the older boy didn’t really feel comfortable with the not-so-subtle glare that he sent every now and then, “...second of all, even if I want to elope, I cannot. Too broke for that,” he said, now with a sad tone. 

The boy (or June, as Hanbin said) was now opening Hanbin’s desk drawer only to fish out a can of Pringles and popped the lid open. Hanbin then shouted and really immediately lunged at him, letting out a shriek when the June boy stuffed a mouthful of Pringles into his mouth. 

“I said not the green one you ugly monster!” Hanbin landed a smack on June’s head, but the latter only laughed as he spilled what’s in his mouth everywhere. 

And Jiwon was just there seeing them bickered, it’s almost like what he and his brother did in elementary school. Hanbin looked super annoyed (and Jiwon was sure that he didn’t even mean it) and June looked really satisfied. 

“Ouch Bin it hurts for real! Don’t pull my ears!!!”

Hanbin gave him one last smack that earned the loudest groan. And Jiwon really almost swore that if they didn’t cut the five years old fight he would storm out of the room without even putting on his shoes. 

“Why are you even here, brat!?” Hanbin asked, re-capping his Pringles and placing it on the farthest corner of his bed. Hanbin plopped on the bed again, and now he really accidentally sat on Jiwon’s toes. Hanbin didn’t react much, though, only a cute little  _ oops  _ and he moved his butt just a few centimeters. 

“The downstair rooms are playing with Ouija board!! Let’s gooo!”

The messy boy looked so excited, he was reaching for Hanbin’s hand but the other boy just slapped his hand.

“Ugh no…,” Hanbin said, “...you’re literally the biggest coward here. You would pull my hair again like the last time, I am not playing I am tired!”

Jiwon didn’t continue his game, instead, he still stared at Hanbin and the June guy who were bickering. He literally didn’t say anything, he was even breathing really slowly so he didn’t get unnecessary attention, but then,

“...and who is this? You bring your boyfriend to the dorm that’s why you don’t want to play ouija board?”

\--suddenly his name was brought into their childish argument and Jiwon just threw the both of them questioning look. Hanbin had gasped at his friend’s behavior, glancing at Jiwon after that with an apologetic look.

“Ohhh shut up, he’s my team’s captain.”

“Your point? Nobody but me is allowed to enter this place, and you even allowed me here after  _ months _ ! You let this person enter just like that? How?”

Was that jealousy, was that distress that Jiwon saw in June’s expression, Jiwon could care less, but he was… wronged??? Without even given any chance to explain himself. 

“...well I’ve been here everyday lately, right Bin?”

Jiwon added while smirking a little, wanted to laugh at the messy boy’s expression as he exaggerated a gasp towards Hanbin.

“Wow… you really out there having boyfriend without telling your bestfriend… Wah… I have no words.”

Hanbin just rolled his eyes at that, and Jiwon really thought the whole scene was being dramatized, but he could see that both the boys were used to it. That could be how they get along, that was a quite unique dynamic. 

“Whatever… just, get out of my room, why are you even here! Go make poetry or something, or play guitar in the closet, whatever. Don’t come here when I don’t need you.”

Hanbin said while forcing June to stand up, half pushing his back towards the door and then kicking his butt at the end. The boy had shrieked at that, he had tried to get into the room again but Hanbin was quick to close the door. 

“Oh my God, are you gonna have sex?! Is that why you showered?”

Hanbin was now pushing the door close while June was trying to push it against him. 

“Oh Lord, shut up!! People will hear!!” Hanbin said, obviously June had more strength than he was, and Jiwon kinda already knew that because Hanbin was quite frail for a hockey player too, “...Sunbae, a little help,  _ maybe _ ??!!” and Jiwon scrambled out of the bed to help Hanbin pushed the door, winning against Junhoe at the other side. 

“Hey!!! Hanbin!!! I don’t like this behavior at all!” June still shouted from the outside of the room. Hanbin leaned his back on the door and then he looked at Jiwon who was suppressing his laughter. 

“...Hey team captain!!!” Junhoe yelled while banging on the door, “...geez, I don’t even know his name,” he said then, probably was meant to be a whisper but it was so loud that Hanbin and Jiwon heard that from the inside of the room, “...anyway, don’t do anything weird!!! Or I will report you both!!! I swear!!!”

Jiwon laughed at that but Hanbin just rolled his eyes at his friend’s behavior. 

“Go away!!!”

And Jiwon laughed again because of all the Frozen reference in his head, and he just cackled even harder when June really sang, “Okay bye~”

The dynamic between the two really entertained Jiwon more than he initially thought. And it was really obvious that the two of them are close with the casual bickers, skinship, and scoldings they gave each other. 

Something that Jiwon noticed, Hanbin was never the one to talk much about himself, and he always gave witty and sarcastic comments here and there. He looked distant at the first time Jiwon saw him, like he wasn’t really interested on socializing at all. But as time goes by and as the team members know about each other, Jiwon saw him as a nice kid who liked to help people, albeit looking so uninterested. 

“Sorry for him, I can’t believe that kid sometimes,” Hanbin said, walking towards his bed and plopping himself on it. 

“You guys seem close,” Jiwon said, trying to find a vacant spot on the bed and sat there just near Hanbin. 

“He’s like... one of a few friends I have,” Hanbin said, not sounding interested at all. 

“Is that true that nobody comes to your room but June?”

Jiwon said, earning a groan from Hanbin who then pushed himself into a sitting position, facing Jiwon who was sitting on the edge of the bed, just roughly a meter apart. 

Hanbin nodded. He crossed his legs and made a thinking expression, “...yeaaah… I mean, I don’t have that many friends.” 

“You don’t like being around people? June is the first friend of yours that I know, like, outside of the team.”

Hanbin shrugged, looking uninterested.

“More people more bullshit, I guess… and I’m so tired all the time.” Hanbin said. Jiwon wonders if there was more to it than just him being lazy.

Hanbin reached out to his phone on his desk, scrolling Instagram a few times just for the sake of it, checking out his notifications even though there was nothing really important. Jiwon just sat there looking at him, and he really just noticed that the silence they share really is a comfortable one. 

“So... he also thought that I’m your boyfriend?”

Hanbin chuckled half-heartedly. 

“...well, he’s a  _ simple  _ guy,” Hanbin said, “...what he sees, he believes.”

Jiwon thought that was a diss towards his friend, the non-rude way to convey that June really just wasn’t very bright sometimes. 

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t be here so much, then?”

And that sounded more like a threat than a confirmation to Hanbin’s ears, and that only made him chuckle. 

“Because of which? First,” Hanbin rose his index finger, “...you don’t like people to think that you’re gay. Or two,” he then rose his middle finger after that, “...you don’t like people to think that you’re my boyfriend?” Hanbin asked casually, still having his phone on one hand that displayed some random images on Instagram. 

“Which one do you think?” Jiwon asked, looking more serious than before, and his voice was now lower.

“...well, Sunbae, I’m an accounting major. I don’t think outside of my class, my head cant handle it.”

Hanbin just shrugged it off, picking his phone up again to scroll some more. But he knew that Jiwon was watching. Maybe Jiwon was thinking. Maybe Hanbin was also thinking. 

“...maybe being perceived as gay is better now than having the predicate that goes like...  _ the guy that who was whipped for Jisoo  _ or  _ the Jiwon who Jisoo dumped  _ or  _ Jisoo’s victim number X.”  _ Jiwon said, and maybe that stirred something inside of Hanbin. Jiwon had said that with cheery tones, like, not the depressive tone he used to use when he told Hanbin about Jisoo a few weeks ago--when the heartbreak was at its peak. But Hanbin knew Jiwon wasn’t 100% kidding. The look on his face conveyed it all--that Jisoo really was still there, somewhere in his mind. 

“That’s honestly just kinda sad at this point, you know.” Hanbin said. At first he was afraid that it was too blunt for Jiwon to take, but the older boy just looked at Hanbin with curious eyes, like he was waiting for more explanation.

“What do you mean?”

Hanbin sighed. He locked his phone and threw it somewhere on the bed, then scooted a little to get closer to Jiwon. 

“ _ This. _ ” Hanbin said, swaying his point finger up and down in front of Jiwon, “You.”

Jiwon looked at Hanbin, his posture was slouched down, he had his hands intertwined on his lap. 

“Me?”

“Yeah.” Hanbin nodded full of confidence, “...how long would you keep mourning over a girl? It’s been more than a month. If you would let me be real here, Jisoo is now with other man already. She’s moving with her life, and I honestly really think that you should too.”

Jiwon didn’t take his eyes off Hanbin when the younger talked to him about what seemed to be a sensitive topic all these time. 

“...and knowing your reaction the last time, probably I should shut up. But…,” Hanbin sighed again, “...is this really  _ love  _ at this point, Sunbae?” 

Jiwon looked like he was thinking, and Hanbin took that as no sign of him should be stopping his sentences. 

But then there was smile on Jiwon’s lips, almost like smirk, even. That was almost a defeated smile, as if he was telling Hanbin that he  _ knew  _ that. 

“...are you sure, that what’s left now is not curiosity? That Jisoo had left you asking questions of  _ how am I not enough for her, how am I not a choice,  _ like that? That this, for you, feels like a battle you should have won, but you didn’t.”

There was silence for a few seconds and Hanbin already prepared himself if Jiwon wanted to snap at him again like the last time. Well, somebody needed to push the news down Jiwon’s throat so he opens his eyes to the truth.

Well, nobody was doing it, so, damn… felt like the responsibility relied on Hanbin’s shoulders. Yet again.

“Let’s say you’re right,” Jiwon’s voice contained no aggression, not like before, “...then what should I do now?”

Hanbin lets out a snicker, “Well, there are a lot of options, really,” Hanbin said almost with no care at all, “...depends on your needs. Do you need distraction? Do you need a new girl? Do you need a rebound? I don’t know, man…”

“...rebound?”

“...like, you’re seeing someone else to try to forget whoever is it you are trying to forget.”

Jiwon laughed, “...sounds easy coming from your mouth.”

“Well, nothing’s particularly so hard about it.” Hanbin said like it was not a big deal.

There was that chuckle again, the one that just sounded sad and defeated. “...yeah, right.” he said then, sarcastically. 

“...People have thought that you are dating me anyway. Maybe start from there.” and Hanbin had said that with confidence, wit, and a little to no care in the world. 

“How does that suppose to help?”

Hanbin scooted even closer to Jiwon.

So Hanbin was like, “...In a universe where you get your heart broken, why don't you date me instead, you know, as a rebound or whatever until the pain heals a little.”

Hanbin had said that with full confidence and that honestly left Jiwon frozen. Jiwon was looking at Hanbin at such a close proximity, that anymore closer he would notice the faint little mole underneath Hanbin’s left eye. 

“...whatever.” Hanbin mumbled under his breath when he pulled Jiwon’s shirt with a little force, causing the older boy to gasp a little in shock. Within no time, Hanbin was already closing the gap between them and kissed Jiwon on the lips, didn’t really care when their noses bumped on each other. And when he felt Jiwon’s lips moved, Hanbin smiled to the kiss and then he pushed Jiwon away a little.

The older boy just stared at Hanbin after the kiss, his eyes were looking straight onto Hanbin’s, his lips were parting a little. 

“...and that will seal the deal.”

Hanbin said, smirking a little when he said it. He then casually reached his phone again and opened an online game, sighing a little when he propped his back against a pillow to get into a more comfortable position. In no time, he had concentrated on the game he was playing, really leaving Jiwon astonished by his confidence and unpredictable moves. 

  
.

.

.

[TBC]


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...the deal is on, right? You said you will be a-” Jiwon looked hesitated.
> 
> “-a rebound.” Hanbin continued his sentence, chuckled a little because he found it funny that Jiwon couldn’t even say it.
> 
> “...yeah, that.”

What Hanbin thought was different between the men’s ice hockey team and his small circle of friends was the amount of noise and gossip. But of course, like the rest of things in his life, Hanbin just needed to be wrong. At least June has the decency not to whistle like he was in some kind of a frat party and Hayi couldn’t do it no matter how much she tried.

“So, you with the Cap, huh?” Changkyun said, nudging him on the ribs using too much strength than he probably should.

“Oh, shut up, not you too.” Hanbin chugged on his energy drink while watching the seniors tackling each other, the routine they do for fun after practice. That was not included in Hanbin’s idea to have fun, though.

“If you are sleeping with him just to get into the regular team, I am kicking your ass.” Changkyun said, with a serious face that made Hanbin kinda wanna laugh, “…literally.”

“You can take the regular spot, I don’t care.”

“What?! Why? Now you offend me.”

From where they were sitting, Hanbin and Changkyun can really be heard by the five regulars, including the Captain and his two so-called best friends, who were busy trying out new formation.

“Well, you probably deserve it more than I do anyway. I heard you have been training with Jooheon, which means that you are serious.”

“And you’re not?”

Hanbin rolled his eyes, “Not as serious as you.”

“But you are sleeping with the Captain?” Changkyun asked with curious face, and then he paused as if he was thinking. Then, he snapped his fingers like he had figured out something than can save humanity. “…Ohhh… You aren’t here for the hockey… Wow… Haha…”

Hanbin chugged on his energy drink again. The stainless bench was cold under his butt and his bottle was half empty.

“I am not sleeping with him.”

“But the others said…”

“Well they are trolls and they are stupid. Don’t be like them.”

Changkyun looked bothered, but Hanbin didn’t really care. Changkyun was just Changkyun. He was a good boy, and even though he had been going to the same school with him since elementary school doesn’t mean that Hanbin was good friend with him. They were simply just two boys, living close by, and going to the same schools because basically they were living around the same neighborhood. That’s all about it. That can happen to anybody.

“…I mean… If you want to sleep with him, you can, you know that right? This isn’t Junior Highschool where everybody is uptight and judgy. We can handle a little boy and boy love.”

Hanbin sent Changkyun a questioning gaze—he didn’t like people talking about the past, especially not Junior Highschool. Especially not Changkyun who probably thought Hanbin hasn’t moved on from what happened a long time ago. But he did. He always moved on from bad things that happened in his life.

“…of course I know that. What makes you think I don’t?”

“Wow, nothing. Don’t be mad, I am just saying.”

“And I am just asking, what makes you think that?”

“…well… nothing, man…” Changkyun looked defensive as if Hanbin was going to attack him, “I’m sorry I brought this up, okay?”

“Damn right you should be sorry. This isn’t your business. And like you said, this isn’t Junior Highschool. Don’t go around and talk to me as if I am still your friend.”

Hanbin grabbed his helmet from the seat beside him, taking his leave with big and angry steps. He didn’t even know why he should be angry when everything had happened a long time ago. But Hanbin guessed, some things were harder to forget, even when you already forgave.

.

.

.

The thing about inhaling smokes so deep until it felt like piercing your lungs, was it’s burning the anger until there was nothing left. You inhale so deep and keep it in for a few seconds, and then exhale completely from your nose. It felt like stocking toxin inside of your body, but from time to time Hanbin did feel like it was a good distraction—a nice companion when he was pissed off.

Lucky that Hanbin wasn’t pissed off a lot.

He was standing just beside the back entrance of the Stadium, still carrying his gym bag and hair still wet from shower he took about half an hour before. He was leaning his back on the wall, left hand holding a cigarette between his point and middle finger, while his other hand was holding his phone—his six years old little sister was learning to read and type messages, it was really cute chatting with her.

She was sending emojis and selfies too, Hanbin laughed when she made silly faces. It was almost a month he didn’t come home, always spending his weekend at the dormitory even though his house wasn’t so far away. It only took three hours maximum by bus. But nowadays he had been playing hockey a lot, or just hanging out with Jiwon. His priority scale sometimes was messed up, really. But Hanbin didn’t really think a lot about it.

“Hanbin?”

The familiar voice from behind him startled Hanbin a little, but seeing Jiwon with wild wet hair walking towards him made him smiled a little.

“Dude, you smoke?”

Oh, he forgot that he was still holding the cigarette between his fingers.

“A little.” Hanbin said, didn’t really know what to do, whether to hide his cigarette from Jiwon or just continue doing what he did. He chose to just don’t let it bother him, although he still lowered the cigarette a little bit. 

Jiwon stopped in front of him, looking at Hanbin from head to toe, and that’s a little bit intimidating, if he’s being honest. 

“What?” Hanbin asked when Jiwon didn’t even do anything but looked at him like he was some kid with a communicable disease. 

“Nothing.” 

“Cool then. You’re heading to class?” Hanbin asked, not out of curiosity.

“No, I am going to the library, I haven’t studied for a quiz today.”

Hanbin nodded in acknowledgement, “...brave.”

Then there was silence between them, but Hanbin only stared at the cigarette in his hand, once in awhile flicking the ashes so it fell to the ground. 

“What did Changkyun say to you? You look upset.” Jiwon said then, making Hanbin lift his head so he can see Jiwon on the eyes. 

Hanbin smiled then. Does it mean that Jiwon paid attention to him or he simply just saw Hanbin walked away stomping his feet from Changkyun (who probably looked a little disturbed)?

“You saw?” he asked casually. 

“Hard to miss when you were just a few feet away.”

Hanbin chuckled at that. It’s been a week since that deal in Hanbin’s room, and both of them haven’t really talked about it. Jiwon had slept over in Hanbin’s room that night casually like nights before that happened, and somehow Hanbin was glad for that. At least Jiwon didn’t run away, or worse, push or punch him for the abrupt kiss. 

Hanbin was glad that even though Jiwon (probably) was not gay, at least he wasn’t homophobic. 

“...Nothing. I’m not upset.” 

Jiwon looked at him for a few seconds, and then he nodded, “Well, okay then.”

He then made a gesture that means he’d be going first, and Hanbin just nodded at that. Hanbin only put the cigarette between his lips again when Jiwon had walked away, inhaling it deeply before exhaling clouds of smoke.

But then Jiwon stopped and turned his body to face Hanbin. They were about five meters apart in maximum, and Hanbin could clearly see Jiwon’s troubled expression.

“...the deal is on, right? You said you will be a-” Jiwon looked hesitated.

“-a rebound.” Hanbin continued his sentence, chuckled a little because he found it funny that Jiwon couldn’t even say it.

“...yeah, that.” Jiwon chuckled, “...okay. So what do we do? I have never done it with a guy, so you take the wheel, I guess.”

Hanbin gave him a slow nod, at the same time exhaling his last cloud of smoke while throwing the cigarette butt to the trash bin near him. 

“I haven’t done this much either, but I can try.” 

“You always sound like you know what you are doing with all this,” Jiwon said, shrugging. 

“And you believe that?” 

“Well… kinda.”

“Nice.” Hanbin said, moving towards Jiwon so they can probably walk together.

“...relationship is easy, really. Do what makes you both comfortable. Since the main goal of this  _ program  _ is to kinda make you forget whatever it was that’s hurting you, so we will focus on you. I can wait for you outside your faculty and then we will have dinner. That’s easy steps because I figured you kinda like my companion. How’s that sound?”

Jiwon shrugged again, like he didn’t really care about what they do, he didn’t really have preferences and it shows. “Sounds fine to me.”

“Okay then. Now walk me to my faculty?”

.

.

.

The walk wasn’t long and the atmosphere was okay. They didn’t say anything to each other even though Hanbin kinda knew that Jiwon wanted to. But it was still a comfortable silence. 

Hanbin didn’t even know what to expect from all these things; what good will this bring to his life, he honestly didn’t even think about it. He liked Jiwon, that’s one thing for sure. But what kind of ‘like’? That was the part he needed to think about more thoroughly. 

As they walked, they were talking about what and where to eat, even though Hanbin was the one who always gave idea and Jiwon was always the one more flexible for choices like that. They had agreed that they would meet after Jiwon’s last class at 5PM and Hanbin would wait on the bench just outside the faculty building where people usually sit around and chat. 

Agreement was made when they arrived in front of Hanbin’s faculty building and Hanbin just bid a little goodbye to Jiwon casually, just like what he always did. Jiwon had nodded to that, but when Hanbin was about to walk inside, Jiwon called him again.

“...yeah?” Hanbin said, didn’t even bother to close the distance between them. But then Jiwon did when he walked towards Hanbin with serious expression.

“When we are doing this, does it mean that we value each other’s opinion more compared to other people’s?”

Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows, didn’t really know what Jiwon was trying to imply.

“...well… if you want to?”

“Smoking is bad for your health, dude.” Jiwon said then. Hanbin needed a few seconds to actually digest what Jiwon had said, and then he smiled.

Jiwon looked honest and concerned and Hanbin found it really adorable that someone as rough and manly looking like Jiwon was concerned about little things like that.

“...got it.” Hanbin smiled in acknowledgement, strangely feeling like being obedient and cooperative with Jiwon. June and Hayi both had forbidden Hanbin from smoking too, but they both were always so fussy about it and Hanbin just didn’t regard their opinion. 

But something in the way Jiwon said that, and probably he had carefully chose the right words to say it, made Hanbin just wanted to do whatever it is that he requested.

_ Damn. _

This was why it’s bad. Hanbin had known for the fact that he had a messed up sense of self worth, and once he fall, he would fall real hard. And even though Hanbin had known all that, he was still playing too close to the danger, disregarding all his dark past and painful experience from doing exactly the same thing. 

Hanbin might not put it out in the open. But when he said that he was doing this for Jiwon to help him get rid of all those pain and misery he might be feeling, he knew that it wasn’t completely the truth. 

“See you at 5.”

Jiwon said, and then smiled. He walked away then, almost looked lazy but still full of grace.

Hanbin didn’t move any inch before Jiwon’s figure disappeared in the crowd. Even then, he still stood there looking for that wild hair and broad shoulders.

Hanbin was late fifteen minutes to his Principles of Microeconomics that day. No regret, though.

  
.  
.

.

[TBC]

.

.

.

it's shorter, i know

i dont know what im doing so give me some motivation, maybe?

ok yall know the drill

leave me some thoughts [@twitter](https://twitter.com/runsoftbin) and [@curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/)

if i dont post the next chapter in a week PLEASE HUNT ME DOWN AND DRAG MY ASS HERE 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t dude me when I’m boyfriending you!”

“What are you doing this weekend?”

Jiwon was eating his chicken sandwich in the cafeteria when Hanbin took the seat on the chair across him, placing his tray on the table between them. Jiwon was a fan of savory breakfast, Hanbin noticed, when Hanbin liked the sweet ones.

“Good morning to you too.” Jiwon said lazily. Hanbin knew that Jiwon had to be in class in the next thirty minutes, but he was barely even awake right now. It’s not a rare sight, really, Hanbin often has to deal with this kind of Jiwon in the morning, except when they have hockey practice. That seemed like the only thing that can keep Jiwon awake even though early practice even begins at the crack of dawn.

“It’s ‘one month with Hanbin’ day, we gotta celebrate,” Hanbin said, he ripped a chunk of bread and dipped it to his chocolate milk, then shoved it into his mouth.

“Aw… It’s cute that you keep count,” Jiwon said almost sarcastically, still without any care in the world.

“That’s what I do. I am counting—”

“—things that matter… yeah, I know what you’re counting.” Jiwon said lazily.

Hanbin lets out a laugh, “Aw, it’s nice having you catch up on me like this. Not quite in the pace I was expecting, but you’re getting better.” Hanbin replied with the same tone. 

“What do people typically do in ‘one month with Hanbin’ day?” Jiwon asked. It’s nice that he actually looked a little bit more interested as he finished one sandwich--and then he began to unwrap another one. 

“Depends. What do you have in mind? Girls usually want cute dates like picnic date or amusement park date. Boys usually want different things.”   
  


“Like what?” Jiwon asked while sipping his canned coffee.

“Sex.”

And that succeeded to make Jiwon choked on his coffee, and Hanbin only laughed at that. 

The older boy coughed a few times then immediately turned to Hanbin.

“How many times have you actually done this rebound thing?!”

Jiwon almost looked panicked, maybe also a little bit concerned, that’s why Hanbin laughed at his expression. He instantly looked awake. His straight purple hair is long now but he just let it grow wildly, only ever combing them with fingers.

“Hahaha, no I was kidding… Gosh, look at your face!” 

The word ‘sex’ really made Jiwon shocked, either because he didn’t expect it from Hanbin, or he didn’t expect this rebound relationship to have ‘sex’ in it. Either way, Jiwon still looked terrorized, and despite the funny reaction, Hanbin still thinks about it a little. 

Did Jiwon really despise that idea so much? That expression might convey different feelings. 

“...You know what, let’s not call it a date, that’d be awkward for you. Let’s just play. What do you want to do? Let’s not play online games, we have been playing that a lot lately. How about sport? You like sport, right? Let’s choose something where I can beat you. Hmmm… basketball?”

Jiwon then leaned his back on the chair, folding his arms in front of his chest while looking at Hanbin with a questioning gaze.

“So you think you can beat me in basketball?” 

“Oh Sunbae, if I take things seriously I can easily beat you in anything.”

“Aww, it’s cute that you sound so confident. Hate to break it out to you, I am excellent at basketball.” 

“Uuuu scaaryyy…” Hanbin mocked, purposefully doing bad  _ aegyo  _ just to emphasize how he thinks he’s better than the older boy. Even though Hanbin knew that Jiwon  _ might  _ be better than him (like, 75% sure), he knew that Jiwon would be more enthusiastic when he’s provoked. So that’s what he was doing: provoking Jiwon. 

“Indoor gym, Saturday at six!” Jiwon said, a little too excited. 

“Oww ow ow? Six? I know you are enthusiastic, but dude, at six?”

“Okay, six thirty!”

“Damn it bro this isn’t hockey practice! You ain’t the boss of me here.”

“Oh come on!”   
  
“At eight. We’re playing at eight because I don’t get up early on Saturday.”

Jiwon’s face fell in disappointment, and Hanbin really found it’s cute how Jiwon actually  _ pouted  _ because he didn’t get what he wanted. He always had this thing with games, that he always took it very seriously, even the lamest game like a drinking game, or truth or dare. Jiwon’s competitiveness made him looked so ambitious, but Hanbin guessed it’s a good thing. That’s probably what drove him to become one of the best hockey players, and he was really one step closer to national right now.

Is it weird if Hanbin feels sort of pride? It’s not like Jiwon was his real boyfriend or anything.

“Okay! At eight on Saturday you’re gon get your lazy ass beaten.”

Hanbin just laughed at Jiwon’s eagerness--he even had his game face, the face he made when he concentrates or when he’s in the ‘zone’. When he has that face it means he takes things seriously. 

“...if I win you clean the HQ. And my room. Yeah, if I win you clean those until they are spotless.”

“Heyyyy, this is a celebration, not a bet!” Hanbin makes a face when Jiwon let out an evil laugh. 

“What’s a celebration without bets, Little Bin?!” he said, poking Hanbin’s chin playfully with his index finger. 

“Don’t call me that!”

Jiwon laughed seeing Hanbin’s reaction, “I can call you anything I want. Technically you are my boyfriend!”

Hanbin’s heart skipped a beat.

Jiwon said it so casually like it has no meaning at all. And Hanbin had been beating himself because it  _ should not  _ have meaning, because this relationship was something he did without careful consideration (much like the other things in his life), or because Jiwon didn’t even think this was real.

Hanbin knew it wasn’t real yet his heart skipped beats anyway.

This was what’s going to shove him down the cliff. His stupid heart.

“Well, it’s hardly even a real one!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jiwon smashed his empty can to his tray, lifted it and then proceed to step away from their table, “...I have class in a few minutes. Don’t forget about Saturday, Little Bin!”

And with that, Jiwon walked away to place his tray on the dirty pile, leaving Hanbin behind to catch his class on the third floor. 

Hanbin pushed his plate a little, wasn’t really interested to continue eating his bread because all he could think of was “ _ damn… I have an endearment nickname now”. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

Hanbin dropped his body to the ground--he didn’t care anymore if the floor is dirty. His life was being sucked out of him by the person who was still happily dribbling the basketball and once a while tossing the ball to the hoop. Meanwhile, his battery was getting dangerously low that he felt like he could shut down anytime. 

“Get up! We barely even started!”   
  
Hanbin laid on his back looking at the high ceiling of the college’s indoor gym, busy controlling his breath. 

“It’s been two freaking hours!”

Jiwon just continues playing as if Hanbin’s whining doesn’t bother him--he even dribbled the basketball around Hanbin just to make him feel irritated. 

“That’s why athletes shouldn’t smoke,” he said casually, now doing tricks with the ball, bouncing the ball between his legs with ease, as if he’s a basketball athlete, not hockey.

“I am barely even an athlete,” Hanbin said, still catching his breath when one of his hand was placed on his wildly beating heart. Jiwon’s energy to play physical things was really no joke, especially when silly bets were involved. 

But Jiwon had made his point clear a few times that he didn’t really support Hanbin smoking--it’s the smell, he said, or the fact that passive smokers are exposed to a greater risk of lung cancer compared to active ones. 

It’s nice being cared about, especially when Jiwon looked at him weirdly when he accidentally dropped a pack of cigarettes from his bag. 

“Bin, look at me shooting this from here, it’s totally Midorima Shintarou trick, you will be surprised!”

Hanbin choked on his saliva as he heard that--what a freaking nerd. 

“Did you really just used a Kuroko no Basket reference on me?”

Jiwon just concentrated on his shooting without minding Hanbin. He stood almost in the middle of the field to shoot the basketball into the hoop. 

“Dude, it’s too far. There’s no way you’re gonna--”

Before Hanbin even finished his sentence, the ball just smoothly went through the hoop, making him gape in awe. 

“WHOA!”

Hanbin found it funny when Jiwon himself was also surprised by his long-distance shoot. When he looked at Jiwon, the older boy had his two hands on top of his hands as if he also couldn’t believe what he had done. His face looked surprised but also proud of himself, and the whole situation just felt so silly that Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh.

“I did that,” Jiwon said, still shocked himself. Hanbin stood up way too quickly and almost flew towards Jiwon in so much hype and enthusiasm.

“Wow I’ll try too. Move away!” Hanbin said, almost too enthusiastic to hold a ball and bounce it on the floor. “Look at me! Watch. Me.” 

Hanbin bounced the ball a few more times before he made a throw to the hoop. But before the ball even reached it, Jiwon had yelled so loudly--mocking him--when the ball fell even before reaching two-third distance between him and the hoop. 

“Kim Jerkwon!!!” Hanbin yelled and really just jump and throw hands at Jiwon, kicking him when his hands couldn’t reach Jiwon as he moved away. 

Jiwon exaggerated a shocked expression, covering his mouth with one of his hand. “...I am a  _ sunbae _ ,” he said with fake seriousness, “...have some manners, Lil Bin…”

“You ruined my concentration!”

The older boy lifted his hands as a “ _ what??! _ ” sign, “I literally yelled  _ after _ you throw the ball!”

“Whatever, I am gonna throw again.” Hanbin said, picking one ball off the floor and bounced it a few times, “...don’t ruin my concentration this time!”

And when Hanbin threw the ball again, he missed it again. He cursed when Jiwon just snorted. Jiwon just watched him does it a few more times until the junior got angry and frustrated. 

“Dude, you’re throwing it wrong,” Jiwon said, folding his hands in front of his chest like what a coach does. 

“I  _ can _ throw a basketball.”

“It’s a different throw from the middle of the field.”

“No it’s not,” Hanbin said, annoyed.

When Hanbin threw again, he missed again--and the ball still didn’t really reach the hoop.

“Hey, hey, let me show you,”

Hanbin was expecting Jiwon to take the ball, but instead, he took his hands. 

“Whoa,” Hanbin said, when Jiwon really just stood behind him, pressing his body on Hanbin’s back as he tried to correct Hanbin’s hand’s position, “...dude,”

“...your wrist needs to relax, and the power should be centered right here, and here,” Jiwon patted his bicep and tricep, “and when you throw, bend your knee a little,” he nudged the back of Hanbin’s knee with his, “...and, throw!”

The ball still didn’t get through the hoop, but it still went further and closer to the target. 

Hanbin turned around to face Jiwon with a smirk on his face, “...what was that?!!”

“A better technique, a stronger throw.”

“Not that! The whole touching me thing?”

Jiwon just shrugged as he bounces a ball to the floor, “...you touch me all the time.”

“Oh okay? So I guess we are touching each other casually now? Like, it’s a mutual thing now?”

“...dude, you are making this weird.”

Hanbin laughed, “...no,  _ you  _ are making this weird. Nothing is weird about touching your boyfriend.”

Jiwon looked taken aback, “...dude,”

“Don’t dude me when I’m boyfriending you!”

“Alright! Alright! Gosh, you really are a confident gay and that’s honestly just beyond me sometimes.” Jiwon said, and then he moved to collect their basketballs. 

Hanbin laughed harder as he also picked one of the three balls, “...it’s nice that now you are trying too. I mean, it’s easier for a relationship like this.”

“Yeah,” Jiwon said, collecting his things and shoving them into his bag, “...it’s been a month. I thought I wouldn’t last three days. Might as well do my best too, for now.” Jiwon said. 

And Hanbin smiled at that.

“...yeah.” Hanbin didn’t really know what to feel when Jiwon told him that. Whether to be happy or not. He didn’t know whether it was good or bad, whether it’s what he wanted or not. 

But he guessed, someone like Jiwon needed assurement. He needed to see his goal, so he would know what to do.

“...when it doesn’t hurt anymore to see her, we can stop.” 

Hanbin could see Jiwon’s movement came to a halt for a few seconds, but then he continued zipping his bag. 

“That’s gonna take a long time.” Jiwon said, slinging the bag on his shoulder and faced Hanbin.

Hanbin smiled at him, and this one was genuine. How much Jiwon was hurting, Hanbin didn’t really know for sure. 

Was it selfish if he wanted Jiwon to take a really long time? So it means that Jiwon would have a lot of time with him... But it would also mean that Jiwon needs to be hurting for as long. And when it still hurt him seeing Jisoo, it only means that he still has feelings for her. 

Where actually was Hanbin going with all this? He thought. Any outcomes he could see, were only those that could hurt him.

But Hanbin had acknowledged himself as a certified masochist. Something was definitely wrong with him. But what could he say? He was selfish and he wanted to be with Jiwon. 

Whatever reason might it be for.

“...you can take your time as long as you need.”

  
.  
  


.

.

[TBC]

.

.

.

Hi!

I know, I broke promises.

And hey, please give me a little something in return

ok yall know the drill

leave me some thoughts [@twitter](https://twitter.com/runsoftbin) and [@curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/)

if i dont post the next chapter in a week PLEASE HUNT ME DOWN AND DRAG MY ASS HERE hehehehehehehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!!!  
> I am missing Hanbin like I could die.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Hanbin and Jiwon after basketball session. In the shower.   
> Doing things.

The thing about indoor gym shower is, there are several shower stalls divided by sturdy walls, but they have no curtain whatsoever. So even though someone who showered beside you cannot see you naked, the people from outside the stall can really see whatever you are doing in there. The curtains were once there, the senior said, but they were taken off to reduce the maintenance fee. Hanbin would be more comfortable with the shower curtain, though, especially when boys his age tend to compare the size of their dicks. It happened once with the hockey team when he was a newcomer—they seemed to really need that information because apparently the size will be used to determine the class among them.

Even though he never pays too much attention, everyone knows that Jiwon belongs to the upper class. He’s being taken seriously by the team not just because he is the team leader, but also because of the dick.

Hanbin doesn’t really know what to do with that information, though.

So there he is, cannot help but being self-conscious when it is only the two of them in the indoor gym’s shower. Jiwon is showering just in the stall beside him while humming a song Hanbin doesn’t even know, with Hanbin still hasn’t even begin showering. He is battling about where to face while he’s showering—if he faces the shower wall, his butt will be on display, but if he faces away from the shower, his dick would be.

Then finally Hanbin turn the shower on, decided that he would face the wall that separated him with Jiwon.

He is shampooing his hair with eyes close when he can hear wet footstep, and that halted Hanbin’s movement.

“Hey let me use your facial wash,”

Hanbin was about to freak out when he feels that Jiwon just stepped into the shower stall _with_ him, reaching for the facial wash tube that Hanbin put on the mini shelf attached to the wall. In panic, Hanbin was opening his eyes but the shampoo bubbles get into them. And it hurts like hell when his dumbass just rubs on them with hands that are also still covered with shampoo bubbles.

And there he was, in the shower stall _with_ Jiwon, having shampoo bubbles in his eyes, screaming like a freak—doesn’t even know if he was screaming for Jiwon to come help him, or for Jiwon to just go away so he can help himself.

But the older boy was laughing so hard that even though Hanbin’s eyes are closed he can picture the way Jiwon’s nose scrunch and his eyes disappear into thin lines. A few seconds later Hanbin can feel water being sprayed on his face, and he immediately trying to rinse his eyes by opening and closing them under the running water.

Jiwon’s laughter has almost died down when Hanbin can finally open his eyes, only to find the other boy standing just a few centimeters beside him, holding the head of the shower to spray the water directly to Hanbin. His eyes still sting but Jiwon looked unbelievable from up close. His slightly long hair was wet and his skin literally glistens under the light. He is slightly taller than Hanbin but it feels like he is towering over him, they are so close inside the stall that Hanbin feels something weird inside of him.

And he might have drawn a very shocked face when one of Jiwon’s hand landed on the side of his face, he uses the thumb to gently close one of Hanbin’s eyelids and wipe the water there, and then he does that to the other eyelid as well. Small smile was still there on his face, like this was something very natural to do.

“Dude, you are so funny freaking out like that,” he said, then he put the shower head back to its place on the wall, warm water still spraying their bodies. Jiwon then puts his hands on Hanbin’s shoulders, trying to see if his eyes are okay by leaning down a little.

“Your eyes are red and—”

Jiwon was just too close, too beautiful in front of Hanbin and there was no self-control in the world can hold this back from happening. Hanbin almost launched his body to Jiwon, capturing his lips while almost slamming his back on the wall. He really was about to regret the action after a few seconds, but then Jiwon kissed him back just as eager—his hands were placed on Hanbin’s waist, while Hanbin’s hands were on the wall bracketing Jiwon’s chest. The kiss lacked elegance and their teeth clattered, but they didn’t stop. Jiwon always kisses like he’s hungry for more, and his hands was firm and strong—they traveled to Hanbin’s chest then to his back, and in just a millisecond Hanbin was pulled closer that their chests were touching.

Hanbin was gasping as their bodies collided, and Jiwon just takes advantage of the moment to include tongue to the messy kiss. Hanbin’s hands are now on Jiwon’s hips, while Jiwon’s circling his on Hanbin’s back, holding him close like he doesn’t wanna lose him. There was a shudder running through Hanbin’s body when one of Jiwon’s hand traveled down to the small of his back, and suddenly the same hand slaps his ass and then Hanbin can feel the large hand groped them.

Hanbin was shocked and _so_ turned on when he realizes that there was metal taste on his tongue, so he pulled away a little to get a good look of Jiwon. The latter’s breath was fast and warm and Hanbin can feel it on his face, and Jiwon just smiled at him with a tiny little cut on the inside of his lower lips. Without him knowing, Hanbin had brought a hand to touch the cut, but then Jiwon just smiled.

“I bite you,” Hanbin said, smiling as well when he touches the cut. Jiwon lets out a chuckle and nodded.

“Yeah,” he only said—still smiling, but then he just leans down again to kiss Hanbin full on the lips. The shower keeps running and they keep kissing under the spray, sparing each other very little seconds just to breathe.

Hanbin needed air so he pulled away slightly, only for Jiwon to plant open mouth kisses on his jawline and down to his neck. Their breaths were fast like it wasn’t enough, but Jiwon was so close and so real, so warm and sturdy against him and Hanbin just let his instinct take over.

“Sunbae, I’m…,” the water hits Hanbin straight on the face as he tilted his head and bare his neck for Jiwon, “…touch me.”

Without wasting time, Jiwon reached down between them and gets a grip of Hanbin’s part, and the first squeeze had Hanbin cried out and he needed to hide his face on the juncture between Jiwon’s neck and shoulder. Jiwon’s hand were rough and strong, his grip was firm and Hanbin was hard—the sudden friction was becoming too much too fast. It was clear to Hanbin that Jiwon has never done this thing to anyone but himself, so he has no clue how much pressure and strength he needs to give.

“…not so fast, no, please,” Hanbin said, almost breathless on Jiwon’s neck, hands on each of Jiwon’s arms.

“Alright, alright… I’ll slow down.” Jiwon said, loosing his hand a little until he gets a nod from Hanbin.

“…the soap… use it. Your palm…”

Hanbin said almost noncoherently. But that’s what Jiwon does. He gets three pumps of shower gel and coated his palm with it, and then he takes Hanbin’s right hand and coats the palm with it as well.

Without much talks, Jiwon’s hand then was back doing the business, stroking Hanbin more carefully this time, being mindful of using too much strength. He then lets out a sigh when Hanbin’s hand found his member, and in no time mirroring what Jiwon does. They stroke each other under the shower, lacking finesse and elegance as none of them really experts of this situations—especially not Jiwon.

Hanbin’s hand was tired from stroking and bending in a weird angle, but he still forces himself to give Jiwon a few more final strokes as the older was breathing fast, signaling that he’s near. Jiwon closes his eyes as he blindly searches for Hanbin’s lips, and Hanbin understands that. Jiwon moans into the kiss as he comes, mouth opens and chest heaving. With a final squeeze, Hanbin whines to Jiwon’s neck and comes as well, spilling into Jiwon’s hand but quickly being washed away by the running water.

Nobody speaks for a good few minutes, only them catching their breaths under the water. Jiwon still leaning his back on the wall, and Hanbin still leaning on Jiwon, chin tucked on Jiwon’s left shoulder with eyes closed. Hanbin can feel the pulse on Jiwon’s neck, he can also feel the rise and fall of his chest as Jiwon breathes.

“…my knees are weak,” Jiwon said, and they laughed to that.

“I’m dizzy,” Hanbin said as the matter of fact, still having a dopey smile on his face—he’s been under the warm shower for a while and he’s never good with that.

“Let’s get out of here before we use all the water,” Jiwon said, tryig to stand up straight again with Hanbin still leaning on him, “…are you clean from cum?”

Hanbin laughed at the question.

“Pretty much.” He said, pulling away from Jiwon as he tried to stand up by himself. Jiwon turned the shower off, and catching Hanbin just in time as he swayed on his feet.

“Wow… That good? It was only my first time,” Jiwon said, being cocky. Hanbin chuckled mockingly, trying to stand up steady on his feet and walk out from the shower stall to the bench, so he can dry himself with a towel.

“Your hands are so rough, they could have bruised my dick.” Hanbin said, grabbing his yellow towel while sitting his naked butt on the bench, wiping his body with it. Jiwon was doing the same thing just a few meters away from him, a smile still on his face.

There was no awkwardness after the shower session, surprisingly. Jiwon had taken it like a casual thing, like it’s not a big deal—and maybe that’s really what it’s supposed to be. Hanbin watched Jiwon dressed in army-printed shorts and a baggie shirt, his hair was wild and he just ran his fingers through them once without being able to tame it.

They just took one step ahead in their pretend relationship and Hanbin feels something that ridiculously resembles a happiness in his chest—and that’s worrying. He shouldn’t feel anything if he wants to come out alive of this hole he digs himself. Yet there he is.

Hayi would be very pissed if she ever heard this story. And she will. Or she had? Probably June already told her.

“Let’s go eat something, I’m starving,” Jiwon said, pulling Hanbin from his own thoughts.

Jiwon zipped his backpack and swing it on his right shoulder, just standing there looking at Hanbin who only has his back jeans on. He was too caught up on his own thoughts that he stopped dressing himself.

“…Little Bin wear your shirt! Come on man I’m hungry.”

“Naggy.” Hanbin said, then he took a long-sleeved tee from his bag. He was about to wear it when Jiwon walked towards him and raised his hand to touch the side of Hanbin’s ribs with his fingers, eyes focused and curious.

Hanbin had just pulled the shirt through his head when he sees Jiwon poking his right ribs, and he just looked at him weirdly.

“What?”

“That’s a big scar. How did you get it?” Jiwon asked, caressing the rather big scar on his right ribs with his fingers.

“Oh, that…,” Hanbin just continued wearing his tee, making Jiwon retract his fingers from near his chest, “…just a fight when I was younger. Broke like four ribs, needed surgery to repair them.”

“Badass. I like it,” Jiwon said with teasing tone. Hanbin just laughed at his poor attempt of winking.

“Well there are more things to like about me,” Hanbin said, zipping his bag and sling it across his shoulder, “…be careful or you will fall in love for real.”

There was a faint pause in Jiwon’s movement when Hanbin said that, barely even noticeable, but Hanbin can feel it. Jiwon just laughed at that, taking it as a joke or a light conversation, like he always did with everything Hanbin said and done.

“Cocky.” Jiwon said, shoving Hanbin’s shoulder a little before he proceeds to walk out of the shower room. Hanbin just trailed behind him, following wherever he wants to go even though at the end of the day Hanbin will still be the one who decide it.

“Hey, you need to clean the HQ, you lost the bet.” Jiwon said when they walked out of the indoor gym. The weather was good and the sun was shining brightly, it barely even lunch time.

“That’s so not fair,” Hanbin said, and Jiwon just looked satisfied. They have been placing bets after bets to clean the HQ because nobody wants to do it.

“It is fair. You can clean on Monday after class. Don’t worry, I will accompany you. I like to supervise when people are cleaning, it makes me feel like their boss.” He laughed naughtily, once in a while combing through his messy hair with his slender fingers.

“Can’t on Monday. I will start my part time job. Also can’t on Tuesday, still part time job. Maybe on Wednesday.”

“You have part time job now?” Jiwon asked. They were walking on the sidewalk where there were trees to shield them from direct sunlight.

“Yeah… Just teaching elementary students math and English. It pays quite good.” Hanbin said, already tired just thinking about it.

“Can I still come over at night?” Jiwon asked. He likes to hang out in Hanbin’s dorm lately—he even plays online games with June already, even though June insisted that he still doesn’t like Jiwon.

Hanbin looked at Jiwon whose eyes focused on the side road. Jiwon liked distraction at night because when he’s alone he could be doing stupid things like going through Jisoo’s Instagram feeds and then missing that girl. Or making stupid mistake like texting her, which of course is not a good thing to do since the girl has a boyfriend now.

“You can come whenever you want to.”

If it helps Jiwon forgetting Jisoo, then maybe it’s the right thing to do. After all, that is the sole purpose of everything he does with Jiwon.

Including the make out and the hand jobs. Yeah. That too.

.

.

.

[TBC]

.

.

.

Hi!

I know, I broke promises.

And hey, please give me a little something in return

ok yall know the drill

leave me some thoughts [@twitter](https://twitter.com/runsoftbin) and [@curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss hanbin so much im dying


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can give you hickeys too, I am quite good at it.”
> 
> Jiwon then smiled. Hanbin honestly was a little bit surprised, he thought Jiwon would just shrug him off or something.
> 
> “Can you make it pretty?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbetaed so please dont mention the mistakes hehehe

“Dude, you are in trouble.”

June took the seat exactly in front of Hanbin, grabbing his strawberry milk and drink it without even asking for permission. Hanbin who was eating breakfast immediately yank it back from June, causing it to spill a little.

“Get your own!” Hanbin said, securing his favorite milk away from June who didn’t look bothered at all. June then took a pack of hotbar from his backpack, opening its package messily and then eat it like someone starving.

The cafeteria was already packed at 8 in the morning, especially because they serve a decent kimchi fried rice that is not too spicy, just like how Hanbin liked it. Hanbin tends to eat a lot after morning practice, not to mention that they have been hard to the juniors because training camp is around the corner.

It’s only Wednesday and Hanbin’s body feels like it had been ran over by a bulldozer. He noticed that he had failed to calculate the energy he needed to have part time jobs two nights in a row and then a morning practice just the next day. He had overestimated his strength and endurance, so the calculation had been wrong.

So right now, he couldn’t even be bothered by what trouble June had been talking about. All he knew is that he needed to stuff his face with the cheap cafeteria food and think about everything else later.

“Oh, oh, she’s coming.”

Before Hanbin even have time to ask June who was coming, a thick ass book with Nonverbal Communication as its title was being slammed just beside his plate—and it had startled Hanbin so much until he accidentally swallowed the food he hadn’t fully chewed.

Hanbin fell into a coughing fit when but the girl in front of him didn’t even show worries at all. She made June scoot away and sat just across Hanbin on the long table.

“You went out with Kim Jisoo’s ex???”

Hanbin needed to gobble down half content of his strawberry milk to make the cough subsided—yet his two best friends in front of him showed no pity at all. They looked at Hanbin as if waiting for him to spill a very important secret—in the context that this secret is not something really nice to do.

“I AM EATING!!!” Hanbin half shouted as he wiped his mouth from the milk that spilled from the way he drunk so messily.

“Did you?!!!”

“…told ya, a danger.” June said, still chewing on his hotbar—and eventually got a death glare from Hanbin.

“Who the hell told you that?” Hanbin asked, picking up his spoon to begin eating again.

Without even thinking, Hayi immediately pointed her finger to June, whose eyes immediately got bigger as if he was being accused.

“Me??? When did I ever???”

Hanbin then send the death glare again towards June, but the other boy just shrugged as if he didn’t do anything.

“Doesn’t matter now,” Hayi said, stealing one of Hanbin’s mini sausage and immediately popped it into her mouth, “…you went out with Jisoo’s victim number X???”

Hanbin just continue eating without much care, and then chuckled lightly under his breath. “So that’s really his nickname.”

“Binna answer me!”

“Oh my God, why are you so loud!” Hanbin said while he has food in his mouth, “…I just went out a few times for free food and hang out after practices!”

“Dude…,” June chuckled, “…you suck face with him in your dorm.”

Hayi exaggerated a gasp, “…Binna??!!!”

“So what if I kiss him once or twice?!!”

Hayi looked at him like she couldn’t believe what she just heard, but Hanbin still could not care less when he’s got food in front of him. But he would smack June later, though, for provoking Hayi and getting her mad like this.

“Did he force you?” she asked, almost got Hanbin choked again. What does this girl think of him, really? Some fragile human that couldn’t even say no when being forced? Or someone that could easily be wooed by people bigger than him?

Well, when the second was partly true, still gives her no valid reason to be so frantic about all of this. It’s just a little pretend relationship, what harm can it do?

Hanbin laughed a little, “…if anything, _I_ was the one who forced him.”

June looked disgusted, “Ew…did you just say it with pride? He doesn’t even look good.”

Hanbin half slammed his spoon on the table when he finished his food, reaching to his milk and suck it eagerly from the straw. He leaned his back on the chair and then looked at his two best friends who are now judging his decisions.

“Binna… what if you get hurt again?” Hayi said—her eyes soften, her tone gets lower and somehow sad. Hanbin didn’t like her being like this, making him feel like someone who needs protection. He’s not his old self anymore, he can protect himself now.

“Hayi, it’s not junior high school anymore. I can take care of myself now.”

“Still! I still remember what happened back then, Binna, I don’t want that to happen again.”

Hanbin smiled, especially looking at June who looked lost, even when he already knew the story about his junior high school days. Hayi went through it with Hanbin, and they were forced to attend separate school as Hanbin needed to move shortly after they reached the last year.

Being together since they were born, it wasn’t easy for Hayi to suddenly becomes apart from Hanbin, especially after the tragedy happened.

“That will not happen again, I promise. I am stronger now, Hayi.”

The girl still looked worried, though, her big round eyes seemed sad. But Hanbin just lets out a laugh, not necessarily a fake one, but really, he’s just glad that in between everyone he had cut from his life, the ones he had burned the bridges from, he still got Hayi and June (and sometimes Jaewon but it’s just because he’s Hayi’s boyfriend—he needed to keep him close so it’s easier to hurt him if he ever hurts Hayi).

“You cannot even open the lid of your strawberry jam jar,” June said, so Hanbin throw the empty milk carton to his head.

But Hayi still didn’t look convinced, so Hanbin ruffled her short black hair—earning a loud whine from her, almost like she wanted to claw Hanbin.

“If anything happens June will protect me, right June?” Hanbin wasn’t really asking, but June only made face as if he disagreed, “…he trains jiujitsu for something, might as well use it to protect his best friend.”

June snickered, “…such a waste protecting your whiny ass.”

Hanbin faked a smile, “See? He agreed.” June shrugged as if he doesn’t care.

“…so with that, I am going to class now. I will sleep in Taxation Law class again, hope Mr. Lee doesn’t catch me this time.”

With a final ruffle to Hayi’s hair, Hanbin walked out of the cafeteria towards his class on the third floor.

Meanwhile it’s not a complete lie to say that he’s not worried of himself getting hurt again, he still continuously reminding himself which lines he shouldn’t cross. What he can actually do, what he cannot.

He’s not worried too much about this right now, there are much bigger things he needs to take care of. He will just consider this pretend relationship as something fun, something thrilling in the middle of his boring college life.

Besides, Jiwon has learned to be a better kisser. It’s kind of nice to suck face with someone after a long ass day of college and part time jobs, so Hanbin will just enjoy that right now.

Not like it’s a bad thing.

.

.

.

“Since when is this place so big?!”

Hanbin was busy vacuuming the carpeted floor of the Headquarter, his hips were about to broke as the result of him bending it for the last half an hour. Losing the bet really sucks, especially with the person winning it ordered you around like the boss he was, while playing online games on his laptop, on the long couch with legs stretched.

“Don’t forget to arrange the equipment too, they are really messy,” the Captain said, not even sparing any glance at Hanbin who was already sweating buckets.

“Dude, do you want to kill me?!!”

Jiwon just laughed, still busy with his phone. He really kept his words that he’d like to supervise Hanbin when he is cleaning, so that’s exactly what he did.

Half an hour later, when it’s already dark outside, Hanbin had finished cleaning the HQ all by himself. Jiwon still stayed true to the gadget in his hands while Hanbin cannot even find strength in his legs anymore.

Hanbin dropped his body to the floor and laid there like a starfish. He was busy catching his breath as he wiped the sweat on his neck with the back of his hands. He didn’t have lunch today, he just remembered. He only had breakfast—where Hayi and June nagged him, and then he has three classes (like, who does that? Who put three difficult and boring classes together in the same day?), and then Jiwon was already busy calling him about the bet.

Hanbin almost fell asleep when Jiwon nudged him—and he woke up only he realized that the asshole was nudging his hip with his feet. He really has no manner if it comes to Hanbin—it’s hard to believe that this person was praised by a lot of older people for his manner.

“Wanna eat ramen?”

Hanbin wanted to curse at him at first, but this could easily be a free food offer.

“Not the instant kind, I refuse that.”

The older boy laughed when Hanbin tried to sulk at him—he inserted both of his hands into his jeans pocket and the nodded after fake thinking about it.

“Alright, I have one favorite ramen house.”

Hanbin just closed his eyes again—he was really hungry thinking about the ramen, especially with very little energy left it’s very hard to hold the hunger.

“You would need to carry me at this point, Sunbae, I’m literally, like… dying.”

“No way,” Jiwon turned to the sofa and packed his belongings, then sling the backpack on one side of his shoulder. “…come on, kid.”

Hanbin just exhaled heavily. He then reached his hands out to Jiwon, like a baby demanding to be carried, making grabby hands towards the older boy.

“If you don’t feed me in the next half an hour I will pass out,” Hanbin said, making Jiwon laugh. He hated that Jiwon always thought he was joking when he really be feeling like he’s going to faint from hunger.

“Weak ass,” the older said, but he extended his hands to grab Hanbin’s anyway. Hanbin was a little startled of how strong Jiwon was when he pulled his hands, to the point that he was yanked forcefully to stand up.

“Whoa!”

Jiwon was already walking towards the door when Hanbin was still adjusting his sight—there were black dots in his vision so he tried to blink his eyes and steady his legs.

“What’s wrong?”

Just in a few seconds his vision comes back to normal—but the next thing he sees was Jiwon standing so close to him, with a hand on one of his shoulders.

“You okay?”

Hanbin lets out a laugh seeing Jiwon’s concerned face. Wow he looked worried and it felt kinda nice being cared about.

“…head rush. Stood too fast.”

Hanbin then felt a not so light slap on his back by the same hand that was there before, accompanied with Jiwon’s short laugh after that.

“You must be really hungry. Let’s get your little tummy fed,”

Hanbin then lifted up his own bag and followed Jiwon towards the door. It’s already dark outside, and after days like this usually they will end up in Hanbin’s dorm because Jiwon doesn’t like the bus at night. He said it is too crowded and sometimes people smell like sweat and alcohol and he hated it. Hanbin just agreed with him. He secretly (or not) liked Jiwon’s companion, especially when it’s just the two of them.

.

.

.

“I have an unfinished paper due tomorrow,” Hanbin said, throwing his bag away carelessly just after he entered his dormitory room. He walked towards the bed and immediately plop himself on it, feeling really sleepy after he filled up his stomach.

Jiwon turned the lamp on and just laughed seeing Hanbin’s behavior, probably finding it funny because the younger boy always gets tired so easily. Jiwon then nudged Hanbin’s hips to ask him to scoot away a little, so he just did to make some room for Jiwon on the single bed. It’s funny to think that they both managed to sleep there all crammed without even complaining—even though sometimes either of them even sleeps on top the other.

As Hanbin closed his eyes, he could feel Jiwon lay down beside him, pushing him a little to the wall. Hanbin didn’t protest, though, he was quite small so he fits just okay between the wall and Jiwon’s body. But then he heard Jiwon letting out a heavy sigh, as if he was bearing a big burden on his shoulders.

“What’s wrong now?” Hanbin asked without even opening his eyes.

And then there was a pause. And Hanbin already picked it up by now that Jiwon only did that when he was thinking about something that’s weighing him.

“Nothing.” Jiwon said then. Hanbin could just let it go, pretending that it really was nothing because he didn’t think he has enough energy to deal with anything right now besides his own tiredness.

“That doesn’t sound like nothing to me.”

There was another pause, so Hanbin opened his eyes and lifted his body to sitting position. Jiwon has his arm draped on his forehead, staring blankly at the ceiling.

“What is it?” Hanbin said, a little demanding this time. Jiwon then looked at him and lets out a sad chuckle.

“You will get bored listening to this story,” Jiwon said. Well, that rings a bell immediately—or Hanbin was just fast. It must be about the Kim Jisoo, who else has this kind of impact on his Captain if it’s not her?

“What she do now?”

Jiwon laughed at that, probably finding it hilarious how Hanbin has been listening to his shit for a long time that he could know immediately what Jiwon was thinking.

“Hickeys.”

Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows.

“She do what?!”

Jiwon sighed again.

“I met Mino today, and couldn’t help but see the hickeys on his neck that he wore proud like it’s a gold chain.”

Hanbin pressed his own lips into a thin line. Who would have thought that the manly team captain is such an angsty person?

“And you’re like… jealous or something?”

Jiwon then looked at Hanbin cynically, like he couldn’t believe Hanbin just reacted like that to his supposed to be sad story.

“...that’s not the reaction I was expecting.” He said then. Hanbin just laughed at that. It’s nice that the atmosphere was still light and playful, so he knew that Jiwon wasn’t actually angry or anything.

“What reaction did you actually expect?” Hanbin said, “…should I be sad for you or should I be jealous instead? Because, like… you’re technically my boyfriend and you have been eyeing another boy’s hickey.”

Jiwon took the pillow under his head and smack Hanbin with it. They both laughed to it, and it becomes a violent pillow fight in just a few seconds, ended up with Jiwon strangling Hanbin’s neck and the younger begging for him to let go.

As Jiwon was laughing, Hanbin exaggerated coughs so he would look like some victim—but that only amused Jiwon even more.

“Dude! Do you want to kill me?!!”

That earned even more laughter—until Jiwon fell forward clutching on his stomach. Lucky Jiwon that Hanbin was really tired, if he wasn’t, he would have put up a big fight and strangle him back—it would be nice when his neck was bared like that as he laughed.

“You are so weak sometimes! It’s so easy to handle you.” He said. Still laughing, much to Hanbin’s annoyance.

He never really bothers being called weak, though, almost all the hockey team know that. It makes him gets dismissed from doing the hard duties sometimes, but he needs to train a lot harder than other members. Especially with the training camp coming up, he needed to at least make his legs stronger so he doesn’t get thrown away so easily by big people.

Hanbin threw the pillow one final time to Jiwon and then laid beside him again, both of them catching their breath after laughing so hard. Nobody really say anything in a few minutes, and Hanbin noticed that Jiwon was closing his eyes.

“I can give you hickeys too, I am quite good at it.”

Jiwon then opened his eyes and looked at Hanbin as if he couldn’t believe what he just said.

Hanbin just shrugged, “…well, just saying. You seem pretty upset that Mino got hickey so I figured you want one too.”

Even though Hanbin knew that it wasn’t about Mino—well, it’s not about where or whose neck the hickey was on, but it was the matter of who was giving it. But Hanbin consciously choose to neglect that information—since their ultimate purpose is to forget the girl, so he wasn’t going to bring her name up.

Jiwon then smiled. Hanbin honestly was a little bit surprised, he thought Jiwon would just shrug him off or something.

“Can you make it pretty?” he asked, still playfully so Hanbin was kinda thankful about it.

“Well, I can try.”

Jiwon then adjusted his position on the bed, lying flat on his back. He then opened his arms towards Hanbin who was already sitting near him, inviting the younger into his embrace.

Hanbin was always so thankful for his good self-control, or he would have giggled shyly because of Jiwon’s action.

“Aight, let’s do it.”

Jiwon pulled Hanbin’s hand so he was yanked and landed on top of Jiwon. So Hanbin just shrugged away and begin kissing the older boy on the lips, grazing it lightly at first and then coming for deeper kisses. Hanbin put both his elbows on either side of Jiwon’s head, propping himself so he could kiss Jiwon better. His fingers were on Jiwon’s messy purple hair, tugging it as his kisses getting more intense.

Jiwon’s lips were smooth and plumpy, Hanbin thought, and the way he moved really had improved compared to the first time they kissed. But to be fair, Jiwon was drunk back then so he would just let the not-so-good kiss slide.

But this kiss—this was good. Jiwon’s hands traveled to Hanbin’s waist and then to the small of his back—and Hanbin had gasped when Jiwon yanked him closer, hugging his smaller waist so Hanbin’s chest was pressed completely against his.

Jiwon’s kisses were eager, like he was excited—it’s a little bit clumsy but Hanbin liked it anyway. Hanbin moved his hands to cup the side of Jiwon’s face, parting their lips a little so he could look at Jiwon’s eyes.

Jiwon smiled then, his eyes looked soft—and without wasting any second he seek for Hanbin’s lips again, this time lapping his lower lip with his tongue and made its way inside of Hanbin’s mouth. He was warm—Jiwon was warm, and Hanbin liked it. And as Jiwon’s smile played over and over again in his mind, Hanbin could feel his own heart thumped so strongly inside of his ribcage.

Jiwon pulled away this time, and their breaths were fast. There was still a hint of smile on Jiwon’s face and Hanbin felt like his limbs were getting weak.

“I can feel your heart beat.” He whispered against Hanbin’s mouth. Hanbin thought Jiwon looked pretty like that, so he just nodded.

Hanbin pecked Jiwon’s now wet lips once, and then twice, and continued to trail the kisses down to Jiwon’s chin, jawline, and then his neck. Hanbin stopped there, licking the particular spot that made Jiwon shudders—so he knew that was where the exact place to leave the mark. Hanbin sucked the sensitive skin there eagerly, using his teeth a little and he smiled when he heard Jiwon’s little noises. One of Jiwon’s hand was now on the back of Hanbin’s head, tangling his fingers with Hanbin’s thick hair.

Hanbin ended up drawing more than three marks on the left side of Jiwon’s neck, with little ones scattered around them. When he was satisfied with his work, Hanbin planted a final peck on it, as if he was sealing it there.

Hanbin pulled away then, half sitting on Jiwon’s middle with his legs being on either side of Jiwon’s waist. Hanbin used his hand on the bed to support the weight of his body, looking at the purplish hickeys on Jiwon’s neck like it was his art work.

He laughed then, touching it with his fingers a little.

“There, you can brag this like your own gold chain too.”

And Jiwon laughed—the kind that made him scrunched his nose cutely. Even though he hasn’t seen the mark on his neck, he looked satisfied anyway. So he pulled Hanbin towards him again, putting his palms on both of Hanbin’s cheeks, and then kiss his lips again.

Hanbin laughed to the kiss, feeling that it was sudden and playful. Jiwon too, was smiling as he moved to suck on Hanbin’s lower lip.

“Thank you, Bin.” He said, planting a final peck on Hanbin’s red lips once. And then twice.

Jiwon then hugged Hanbin tight, placing the younger’s head on his chest and rolled them a little so they sleep on their sides, facing each other.

Hanbin liked a tight hug, especially from Jiwon who was warm.

“Let’s sleep like this.” Jiwon said then—his voice already sounded sleepy.

Even though Hanbin could easily suffocated with this kind of sleeping position, he nuzzled to Jiwon’s chest anyway. Closing his eyes because he was also so tired.

Doesn’t really matter how, but Hanbin had a good sleep that night. It’s a win-win situation, really.

And he cannot wait to see what the hickeys look like in the morning.

.

.

.

[TBC]

.

.

.

Okay, I don’t even know what I am doing with this, so I will just wing this shit.

Please leave me comments or whatever, they energized me and made me happy.

Leave me some thought and talk to me on [@twitter](https://twitter.com/runsoftbin) and [@curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/runsoftbin)


End file.
